Those that know my
family know we have a total dependence on Vicks Vaporub. I'm not sure how or why it originated, but
Vicks is the cure-all for us, just like Windex is for that Greek family in that
Big Fat Greek Movie called My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
We use it for
chapped lips. We use it for colds, but
not as directed. We apply it on chafed
skin. I'm sure there are other
uses. My mom's favorite response to a
child whining about health-related issues: "Put some Vicks on it and go to
bed earlier."
Some of my siblings
are more dependent on it than others.
The biggest user is Kurt. I don't
know if he still does this, but frequently the entire lower half of his face
would be smothered in Vicks. He's been
known to go through an entire bottle in a month. I think he just loved the smell.
I use it pretty
regularly myself. I put it on chapped
lips, and love to feel the cool iciness on my burning skin. I'll put it on any chafed body part, and it
has never not worked to soothe it immediately.
When I worked at Friday's, I would get some serious chafing from all the
walking I would do, so I'd go out to my car mid-shift and get Vicks out of my
glove box and apply it to the affected areas.
By the end of my shift, there was no more rubbing or rash.
I also use it if any
semblance of a symptom of a cold appears.
Slight scratch In the throat?
Vicks! Sniffle? Vicks!
Eyes watering? Vicks it up,
baby! I put it on my lips and around my
nostrils and let the eucalyptus goodness waft into my system. I don't care if it heals me or not, it just
feels so much better.
It says on the
bottle "Do not apply to mouth or near the nose." In fact, if you follow the directions, you're
supposed to rub it on your chest. I
tried that once when I had a cold, and that was just nonsense. I could barely even smell it and then I just
had a greasy chest. Plus, I like to
sleep on my stomach, so that wouldn't work either.
I've had some failed
attempts at using Vicks to solve health issues.
Probably my worst idea was in 9th grade when I had a pretty fierce
collection of tiny zits on my forehead that came out of nowhere. For weeks I washed and washed my face and
they were only multiplying.
(My dear kind sister
JoEllen liked to point this out, as if she were telling me I had some food on
my face that I didn't know about, and she was doing me a huge favor:
"Kent, did you know you have a ton of zits on your face? Goodness me oh my, that is a LOT of
zits!" Really, Jo, do I? Let me go look in the mirror, oh wow! You're completely right! As a super self-conscious 9th grader who only
cares about his appearance, I am surprised that I never noticed this before!)
Anyway, I was
desperate for a solution, and considered Vicks.
Bad idea. Vicks, of course, only
clogged up my pores worse and the tiny zits grew much larger, and I'm pretty sure
my large zits started to get small zits on top of that. Kids, don't use Vicks on your zits.
Another bad Vicks
idea was after college. I was in Boston,
but flew home to Utah for a weekend. I
borrowed my brother Ralph's Axe spray-deodorant (Axe=scandalous!). I developed a pretty bad rash under my pits
and since Vicks had helped me through some touch chafings in the past, why
wouldn't he help now? Of course, I just
made it worse. I went to the doctor and
the doctor said, "NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!" And also to use this alcohol stuff and the
rash disappeared immediately.
Still, I can't go
without my Vicks. Every trip I've
forgotten my Vicks has been a trip full of regret and loathing. Melanie has always scoffed at my dependence
on this miracle elixir. She refuses to
use it ever. Well, at least until a few
weeks ago when her sinuses wouldn't clear.
She asked for some Vicks, and I was shell-shocked. This was like Kobe deferring to his
teammates, or Albert Pujols NOT launching a homer. I gave her the Vicks with the warning that it
probably wouldn't work on someone with so little faith in Vicks. She tried anyway, and I was right: her faith
in Vicks was not strong enough, and the healing did not occur. A couple weeks later, still stuffed up, she
tried it again. Her faith was obviously
stronger, and she started to feel better.
We all learned an important lesson that day.
Vicks will always be
my friend. I'm sure some of my kids will
develop a dependence like me, and some of them will stray to the church of
Chapstick and whatever else people use for colds (Leg of newt? Beef
shank?). But as for me, I will always
trust in Vicks.
