14 Days of Kent: Day 5

The next thing I love about Kent is that he decided to marry me. Does that seem too obvious? Let me elaborate. Our dating relationship was not the smoothest ride. Now that I think about it, it followed the path of a good romantic comedy: Hero and heroine find each other, decide to date, heroine is too weird in the relationship, hero decides to bail, they mutually decide they enjoy being friends, continue to spend time together and become better friends, after months of dating again, friendship is what eventually helps the hero realize he is in love with the heroine, hero pops the question with a grand romantic gesture.

Despite it being a bumpier ride than most would hope for, I’m grateful for the way our relationship developed. It gave us time to really get to know each other, see each other in all different kinds of situations. Over the two years we knew each other and dated, we really became best friends.

A long time ago I was talking to my dad and asked him how you knew when you were in love with someone or when you’ve found “the one.” He told me honestly that he had no idea how to answer that question, but for him it was easy because he married his best friend. From then on I knew I wanted something similar. I knew I wanted to marry someone I had fun with, who knew me and all my faults and still loved me. Someone who could support me through the not-so-great moments, who would make me laugh and help me be a better person. Someone I could spend every day with and still never get tired of them or run out of things to say. Kent is truly that person for me.

After our ups and downs, I was surprised when he invited me to go home with him for Christmas in 2006. His sister had lived in Boston with her family while her husband earned his MBA and Kent never once invited me to meet them. I only accidentally met his brother-in-law because we picked him up from the airport on our first date…But I agreed to go and it was a great trip. Kent wanted to surprise his mom, but I vehemently opposed. Not the way to make a good impression: SURPRISE! You have one more person to find a bed for, feed, and entertain! Yeah, I don’t think so. I stayed with his family until Christmas Eve and then flew back to Boston so I could spend Christmas Day with my sister. Kent says that it was during those few days apart that he decided he wanted to marry me. And I am forever grateful that he came to that realization.

I feel so lucky that I have married someone I am genuinely excited to see every day. All day long I think of things I want to tell him, share with him, and I can’t wait for him to get home. Oftentimes I don’t and just text, IM, or email. In true BFF fashion, some nights we stay up late talking and laughing when we should be sleeping. We’ll be watching TV and pause the show to discuss something or share a joke and sometimes not even finish the show because we get to talking.

I am so glad my dad gave me that advice so many years ago and that I had the example of his relationship with my mom to follow. And I am even more grateful that I was able to find that with Kent. 

14 Days of Kent: Day 4

Kent has told me numerous times that he doesn’t like his eyebrows because he thinks they make his face look mean, leading people to believe he is mean. I have to admit, I see his point, although I don’t know if his eyebrows are entirely to blame. But he often has trouble with people misunderstanding him or thinking he is angry, when he’s really not.

I’m here to set the record straight: Kent has a hilarious and open sense of humor. He will tell anyone willing to listen just how funny he is. Lately he’s been working on his “dad jokes” and unfortunately he’s getting better at them. If he tells a joke and I don’t laugh, he looks at me and says, “Isn’t that hilarious? Don’t you think that’s funny? Do you get it?” As if it’s impossible that it not be hysterical to everyone else. Although I will confess that Kent makes me laugh, a lot. His laugh is infectious and he can even get Hendrik and Adelaide going pretty well.

Kent likes to laugh and have fun, no matter if it’s with someone else or all on his own. I’m the type of person where if I’m watching TV alone, I won’t necessarily laugh out loud at something I think is funny. Kent is not that kind of person. Oftentimes I will be in another part of the house and hear his roar of laughter at something he found hilarious.

Kent is also able to laugh at himself. I alluded in a previous post that it is nearly impossible to embarrass Kent, and it’s true. I’m a fairly private person and carefully select the information I share with others, usually making sure it coincides with the image I want to project. I don’t think Kent has this internal struggle. When we first met he volunteered a number of stories that I would never have shared with another living being, let alone someone I was trying to date. Most notably, he confesses that he wet the bed until he was 12. Are you shaking your head right now, thinking, “Melanie! How could you do that to your husband?! Posting that statement on the world wide web for the universe to read!” Trust me, it is almost always one of the first stories Kent shares with new friends. Perhaps the funniest (?) part of this particular story is that at one point because he was still struggling with waking up to go, he had to wear a “bed wetting alarm” at night. A wire connected to his underpants would register any wetness and set off an alarm that he wore on his wrist like a watch. The best part is that it still wouldn’t wake Kent up and his parents would come stumbling into his room in the middle of the night to wake him up. I didn’t know machines like that existed, or were necessary.

We spent the weekend up in New Hampshire once with two couples and we played this game where you were supposed to think of a sentence or phrase. Then you pass the paper to the person next to you and they have to draw a depiction of the sentence. Then they cover the original sentence and pass the paper to the next person, who has to try and write the sentence based on the picture. Kent’s sentence was, “I wore a bed wetting alarm at night.” Can you imagine the pictures and sentences that followed? It was hilarious! Wet-your-pants funny, to be exact.

Kent LOVES to laugh, even if he is the butt of the joke. Maybe especially if he is the butt of the joke. But it makes him so much fun to be around. I could be around Kent all day every day because he makes it so entertaining. I love spending time with him, which is convenient considering our eternal marriage and all. His perspective of himself also helps me to relax and not take myself so seriously. It’s always better to laugh with everyone than to think they are laughing at you. I really hope that this is a trait all of our children get from Kent.

Sporting my hat and scarf

Gearing up with Hendrik

14 Days of Kent: Day 3

Today’s post got significantly delayed, but I wanted to make sure it was still done. Luckily talking about how awesome Kent is comes easily.

The next thing I love about Kent is how great he is at being a dad. It isn’t often that I see Kent unsure of himself, but before we had Hendrik he had a few moments of uncertainty. Despite having about a billion nieces and nephews he told me he hadn’t really spent a ton of time around tiny newborns and wasn’t too sure how to take care of one. Even once Hendrik was born he liked to follow my cues on what to do for the baby, but like most new things Kent encounters, he jumped in feet first. He has never been the kind of father who tries to avoid changing diapers, giving baths (cleaning accidents out of the bath), dressing babies, or putting them to bed. While he certainly does the lion’s share of horsing around and rough-play, he doesn’t limit himself to only being the fun parent. Although, I think he would probably admit I’m more the disciplinarian than he is.

Now that he has been a father for over three years, I can definitely tell that he is more comfortable in his role. He has never acted like it was always my job to take care of the kids or as if he was doing me a favor if he “babysat” our children. In fact, up until we had Adelaide and I’ve been home, Kent was the one responsible for getting Hendrik dressed and ready in the mornings to drop him off at daycare. After playing more of an active role in Adelaide’s delivery, he even feels pretty confident that he could deliver our next baby, if necessary. I was quick to reassure him that his new skills probably wouldn’t be necessary with baby #3.

I’m really glad that he has been able to develop a strong bond with Hendrik and that they have activities that really only they do together. He always shows an incredible amount of patience with Hendrik and gets him involved in a number of different activities that he does. Whenever Kent is in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, Hendrik is usually in there with him, nearby standing on his step stool to “help.” Even at such a young age, Hendrik has assisted him with repairs and building projects around the house. Kent’s ability to just let Hendrik try and participate in whatever he is doing is an inspiration to me. Too often I find myself saying no to Hendrik’s offers of help because I feel like I don’t have enough time or he’ll make too big of a mess. Neither of those are a worry for Kent.

I’m also excited to see how being a father to a daughter makes his relationship different with Adelaide than it is with Hendrik. One thing is for certain, his children will never wonder if their father loves them. I am incredibly grateful for a husband who shows love for his children constantly and unabashedly. Two of my favorite moments of Kent’s fatherhood are when he held each of his children for the first time. The look of awe and pure love on his face I will never forget. My mom has always told me that she believes all of us bonded with our Dad first because she was so tired after the deliveries and I think that might be true with my kids. Kent held both Hendrik and Adelaide first and I’m so glad that he wanted to be there and so involved in welcoming our children into the world.

Just about every day, usually more than once, Kent will say to Hendrik, “You’re my boy.” Hendrik’s reply is always the same, “Yes, you are my boy.” Obviously he doesn’t quite understand what he is saying back, but I think the message is clear. Kent is a father who loves, even adores, his children. They are special to him and he will always make sure they know it. I could not design a better father for my kids. He does so much to take care of our family and we are forever grateful.

Baby Hendrik

Baby Adelaide

14 Days of Kent: Day 2

After reading my post from yesterday Kent looked at me and said, "Thanks Mel. That's really nice, but I think you're going to run out of material after the first few days." Oh Kent...have a little faith in me. Apparently in our 5 1/2 years of marriage I have done a horrendous job of expressing my love for you. So please pay attention over the next two weeks...

Not every reason I love Kent can be deep, so I’ll get the superficial one out of the way early on: Kent is easily the sexiest man I know. He’s always asking me if I think “so and so” celebrity is hot, and while many of them may be good-looking or attractive, I have a hard time giving anyone “hot” status. In truth, the only one I’ve ever mentioned is Mark Wahlberg, so Kent always teases me about that. But Kent is by far my favorite guy.

Before we were married, I kept waiting for the day when I would see him and not get the little flutter in my stomach, and kept being surprised when it was always there. I would go over to Kent’s apartment and he’d be wearing some ratty pajama pants and a stained BYU sweatshirt and I still thought he was the sexiest man ever. It really doesn’t matter what he’s wearing, whether he’s showered or not, long hair, short hair, clean-shaven, or yes, even with a beard (Kent will never let me forget that!), I still find him wildly attractive. Even today as we were walking around the mall, he was wearing a pair of jeans, long-sleeve t-shirt, and a baseball cap, and I just thought, “Man, I love that guy.”

I know that Kent, and perhaps a few of his brothers, think he has put on a little extra weight, but to be honest, I like Kent's size. When we were first dating I was a little worried that he might be too thin - my worst fear is being married to a man that weighs less than me. Luckily when I was pregnant with Hendrik Kent gained weight with me and I'm okay with the fact that he kept it. Are you getting the message? I LOVE the way Kent looks! LOVE it! 

I’m also aware that Kent becomes more attractive to me through the lens of our love, but seriously guys, the celebrities in People Magazine have nothing on my Kent. He is the sexiest man alive, no contest. Do you think I’ve embarrassed him enough? Well if you think “yes”, you’re wrong. It’s nearly impossible to embarrass Kent, but that’s a post for another day.

I know that physical attraction isn’t the most important element in our marriage, but I don’t think it hurts! I’m really grateful to have a husband I am so attracted to. Perhaps Kent can’t take all the credit for his good looks, so thank you Mom and Dad Hansen for making such a delicious specimen of a man!

14 Days of Kent

Do you know the real reason for celebration on February 14^th? That’s right, we all get together and show love for each other in honor of Kent Hansen’s birthday. I know, not everyone gets a national holiday to commemorate their birthday, but Kent is just that kind of guy. He really does deserve it!

A lot of people celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas, but this year I’m celebrating the 14 Days of Kent. I love my husband. That may seem like a fairly obvious statement, but I’m starting to think that in the world today, that’s becoming more of an oddity. Too many people take love and forever too lightly and I’m proud and lucky to have found someone I can love unconditionally and who loves me back. Kent does so much to make my life better that honoring him for 14 days of the year is barely enough. But I want to publicly recognize him for being as awesome as he is. So for the next 14 days I will have a new blog post that describes something about Kent that I just L-O-V-E. And come February 14^th if you dread celebrating love, valentines, chocolates, and all that junk, just join in our celebration of Kent instead!

Day 1: He's Reliable

Super Kent!

I love Kent because he is reliable. He has awesome follow-through, both on the basketball court and off. He can make some pretty consistent shots on the court, but more importantly he’s reliable in so many aspects of his life. When Kent says he is going to do something, he does it. While I might still intend to do something but have managed to get distracted or procrastinate, Kent just gets it done. It’s a little infuriating really to be married to someone who never seems to fall into those traps, but that’s just my own pride speaking. I’m grateful that we have him to lean on and make sure things happen for us.

When we were still dating, Kent taught me how to snowboard, borrowing a board and boots from a friend. Afterwards, I was pretty enthusiastic about doing it again and he mentioned that he could look into getting me my own gear, rather than having to rent in the future. The next day he IMs me at work and tells me that he found a board online for a great price. When I saw him next, either that night or the one following, he had already bought it for me. I was still “thinking” it over and he had done research and made a purchase! And that kind of reflects how our marriage works: I take a lot of time (often too much!) to make decisions, trying to make sure I've seen and understand every angle, and Kent does some research and moves forward.

I could come up with a million different examples of times he has shown up or gotten things done as promised, but that’s not really the point. When Kent makes a promise, he keeps it. When he says he’ll look into something, it gets looked into. If he says he’ll do it, it gets done. I really can’t express what a relief it is to have a partner I can trust and depend on so fully! Think of how many friends, family members, or acquaintances have flaked out in various situations, but not Kent. But best of all, his example pushes me to be better about getting things done. He certainly doesn’t nag, but his drive to make sure things happen keeps me on track most of the time. I’m so glad I have him to encourage me to be better!

Hunting for House Meat

It’s astounding to me the popularity of the show “House Hunters” on HGTV.  I started watching it when we first got married and we were thinking about buying a house.  Now, 5 years later, it’s still on, multiple times a day, and they have a spin-off “House Hunters International”.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, it follows a couple/family/individual looking to purchase a property, most often for the first time.  They showcase 3 properties, all the while getting the thoughts of the hopeful buyers and the perspective of the seasoned realtor.  At the end of the show, the buyer chooses a property and then they do a “1 month later” segment at the end to show everyone how they’ve made it their own.

Mel and I started watching the show because we were looking for a house and wanted to see more about the process.  When we bought our house 4 years ago, we stopped watching, because there was nothing else to learn.  However, we found ourselves gravitating towards it when nothing else was on, and I started discovering the real reason for watching the show: to criticize the buyers.

Since most of the buyers were first-timers, it’s pretty funny how wildly optimistic they are about the properties they can get for their crap budgets.  Some of them have these weird particularities that they cannot live with/without.  Sometimes their desires are contradictory.

• “I absolutely cannot live with white kitchen cabinets!”
• “I have to live next to a golf course.”
• “I want a house that’s in the city, with a huge yard and balconies, with a beach view in a great neighborhood.  I live in San Diego, and my budget is 150K.  I found $2.64 behind my dresser, if that helps.”

Sometimes we get an episode where the fragility of the relationship is exposed.  Husband and wife openly bicker in each property, almost coming to blows. You wonder if they should even be together, let alone buying a property together.

My absolute least favorite episodes are the ones where it’s some young couple that’s 3 months married and not planning on kids for 30 years and they’re looking at these monstrous houses with 4,000 or 5,000 square feet.  What on earth are they going to do with that space?  Are they planning on inviting herds of homeless people to come live in it with them?  Our home is 1800 square feet, and we moved into it when we had no kids.  There are 3 bedrooms, and it just felt like a huge waste, because we just chucked stuff into one of the bedrooms, and the other we chucked stuff in it but also the desk, so it was the “office”.  We only got use out of it when someone came to visit, but otherwise it just sat there.  I felt bad having so much space, after years of enduring lectures about not wasting and letting things “fulfill the measure of their creation”.  I almost invited a homeless guy with a heroin problem to come crash at our place, and maybe please just this once not steal anything.  Of course, once we had kids, those rooms fulfilled the measure of their creation real quick-like.

Anyway, these couples have ridiculous budgets which make me wonder where on earth they are getting all that money from, and the houses they visit are just awesome.  3 or more car garages, stone exteriors, nice interiors, huge kitchens, and plenty of space to chase your kid around in.  A place big enough that you can leave your measuring tape at home when you go to Target.  Plenty of space for a Hansen family reunion.  Ha!  Just kidding.  That’s not possible.

So these couples visit these places and point out the dumbest flaws.

• “The master suite has too many windows.”
• “I would prefer more of a eggshell white than a rat dropping white for the bathroom.”
• “I don’t get a ‘homey’ vibe here-it’s too big.” (but then they choose the biggest house of the 3)

I could go on a long tangent of “this is what’s wrong with our country today”, but I’ll spare you.  For now.
My favorite episodes, besides the couples on the verge of divorce, are the ones where we suspect that the family is Mormon, so we spend the whole episode looking for clues.  Is that a CTR ring?  Did I see a temple picture on the wall?  Did they just call the realtor “Brother”?  Are those sleeves long enough for garments?” Most of the time it turns out they’re not Mormon, or they’re sinning like crazy, whatever, but when we’re right it’s like winning at “Clue”.

Like everybody else who watches, we try to guess which property the buyers choose in the end.  I take a few factors into consideration, like how much “character” they want, how inflexible they are about location, and how much they like/hate dinner parties.  I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’m wrong just about every time.

The reveal at the end is my favorite part of the show.  When the buyers are touring their prospective houses, they mention all of these things that they couldn’t ever live with, like a pink bathroom or brass fixtures or carpet in the bedroom.  Then of course in the reveal, they’ve changed maybe one of those things and just bought a bunch of new furniture.  To be fair, they only have a couple of weeks to make changes.

I wish they would have follow up episodes a couple years down the road and check in on the buyers.  What changes did they make?  Which percentage of the couples stayed married?  Which houses got foreclosed on?  I would at least like a rating of how much they regretted their decision to go with the “fixer-upper” instead of the “move-in ready”.  This is how I imagine the follow-up episodes would go:

• “Oh yeah, this place is a freaking dump.  We bought it 2 years ago because my wife insisted on a house with ‘character’ and now we have amassed 30K in home equity loans and the house still smells like old people.”
• “We had to sell our 4,500 square foot monster because we realized we were only 2 people and all of our stuff fits in two rooms.  We lost 50K after all was said and done.  My arms are still sore from all that vacuuming.”
• “Oh, her?  That’s not my wife.  We divorced after 2 months of arguing about brushed nickel versus chrome hardware.  This is my new girlfriend, Charly.  I met her in a…let’s say chat room.”
• “And here’s the master bathroom.  You may remember from the original airing of our episode that the walls were pink and the fixtures were all brass, which we hated.  Well, it’s exactly the same.  My lazy husband hasn’t done anything but watch sports and shed body hair everywhere.”

The real moral of the story is that Mel and I grow much closer together with each episode.  Maybe it’s because we appreciate each other’s reason and feel good about our own house.  Or maybe because we look down on everybody with a false sense of superiority.

Validating Kobe...sort of

I wanted to write this post in August, when it was topical, but things got a bit busy then.  The female readers will again be disappointed with a sports post, but this is the last one in a while-I promise.

My favorite team in all of sports to follow is BYU football.  Then it's BYU basketball.  Next is not the Cardinals, or the Colts, or the Jazz, but the US Men's Basketball team.  Ever since the Dream Team, I've loved how much we'd just clobber the other teams, unapologetically.  It's nice to cheer for a team full of outrageous athletes that you know is going to win 99% of the time, especially when your other teams are filled with slow white guys who consistently choke in big games.

In '92, I followed the Dream Team like everyone else, but didn't see many of the games.  I do remember how awesome Sir Charles was, and how Jordan didn't seem to do that much.  It was great to see all the awesome players on the court at once, but the thrill disappeared for the '96 games.  That team was also pretty amazing, but it was getting tedious to us, so we didn't really care, and the elite players didn't, either.  In '00 we barely won, and the team wasn't much fun to watch.  At the World Champ-ships in '02, we finally lost.  It was embarrassing.  We were trotting out terrible players like Baron Davis et al, and the games were just brutal to watch.  We tried to fix it by the Olympics in '04, but that team played the same way: A bunch of slashers who couldn't shoot.  The world had caught up to us, playing tough, team defense, and schooled us when we tried to use our raw athleticism on the defensive end.

In 2006, we resolved to change that.  In the forefront was my archenemy, Kobe Bryant.  He pledged to play for the team, and that made being on the team "cool" again.  Lots of young stars like Chris Paul, Lebron James, and others wanted in because of that.  So they played in the World Champ-ships, but lost to Greece in the finals, which required them to play in the Americas tournament against some real crap opponents in 2007.  I loved watching all of those games, as I never get tired of a blowout.  I also found myself loving Kobe and D-Wade, even though during the NBA season I can't stand them.  It's a complicated relationship.

In 2008, they won the gold medal, and in 2010 the World Champ-ship with an entirely different team.  They combined those 2 teams for 2012, and of course, won the gold medal again.  During this process, Kobe declared that this team was better than the original Dream Team in '92.  During a slow news time, this became a huge story.  His Airness, Mr. Jordan, mocked his statement, and others did, too.  Scottie Pippen came on air during an exhibition game and said the original Dream Team would beat this team by at least 25 points.  His Highness, Mr. Obama, said "it wouldn't be close".  Future opponent and silver medalist Marc Gasol said they would beat this team by 15 points, even on an off-night.

Lebron came to Kobe’s defense and backed it up, with less of an outcry.  I’m not sure why.  But it seemed to me that it was the age-old argument of old-school versus new-school.  The older generation starts reminiscing about “the good old days” when houses were built sturdier, athletes weren’t money-hungry jerks, and society wasn’t nearly as bad as it is today.  But I feel that most of us tend to romanticize our past, myself included, and focus on only good things.  Certainly, the present has its problems, but so did the past.  I personally believe that most things are improving in the arena of sports, the economy, and technology.  Other areas like politics, society’s morals, and raising kids is something that I’m not going to touch.  Technology is obvious-no reason for a debate there.  Business is better in general, prices are relatively lower, things are more affordable, even including this recession.  Sports is harder to tell, as the athletes as a collective improve in each era.  If you put Albert Pujols, with all his modern day training, in the MLB during Babe Ruth’s era, would he be better than The Babe?  The only thing that’s obvious is that the times are getting faster in Olympic events.

Once someone retires from a sport, his game immediate improves.  With each year that passes, he gets better.  How many Bill Russell anecdotes have I heard where every one of his blocks were kept in bounds?  Really?  Every one of his blocks?  How come not one shot-blocker is able to do that today?  There is basically zero televised evidence of this, so it goes unchecked.  Also, how terrible were the players back then that blocking their shots was so easy that the shot blocker could direct the path of their block?

I watched a BYU game on BYUTV once from 1979.  I’m not sure why they were showing it, and I can’t remember who they were playing.  But Jay Monsen and his immortal monotone were announcing the game.  Danny Ainge was on the team, and there was no 3-point line.  Pretty much nobody guarded anyone from outside of 12 feet.  And the shooting was terrible, including Danny.  Maybe it was just that game, but it was painful to watch.  At one point, someone shot from about where the current college 3-point line was, and Jay said “From 25 feet out!”  Obviously, there was no sense of distance once you got past the free throw line.

So I’m of the opinion that today’s athletes are, collectively, better than yesterday’s.  However, the Dream Team is a small sample of the very best of the NBA of that time.  When you look at the names on the roster, it’s a staggering collection of immortals.  Bird, Magic, MJ, Sir Charles, The Mailman, etc.  One thing that’s rarely mentioned is that Bird could barely move in 1992, and Magic had been out the whole season.  MJ was indeed at the top of his game, and so was Sir Charles.

Once Kobe made his statement, I had to defend it.  Why?  Not because I somehow liked Kobe, but because I hate Jordan.  I've always hated Jordan, watching him dismantle all the teams, and because all the front-runner trendy kids from Jr High liked him.  When he retired the first time, I was super glad and didn't feel at all that I missed him.  When he came back and destroyed my Jazz in '97 and '98, I was devastated.  Then he retired again, but then came back in 2001.  That was awesome, to watch this old dude do pretty much nothing all season, with terrible stats.  The highlight was when he missed a wide-open dunk in the All-Star game.  The arrogance of Jordan, to think that after 3 years of sitting around, he could just come back and be any good!  His defining moment of who Jordan is as a person was his Hall of Fame speech.  It was 10 minutes of awkward come-uppance.  We, as a society, worshipped him for 2 decades and he still had to point out all the people that maybe said something once that could be construed as negative or constructive criticism.  I loved it.  Jordan's failures at Charlotte while Bird was successful at Indiana was icing on the cake.  Watching an arrogant prick fail isn't something I should enjoy, but I can't help it.

At the height of his arrogance, Jordan claims that he was the best, and nobody will ever be better, and he also said that about the Dream Team.  Now I am certainly the first to admit that the Dream Team was awesome, but I just can't bring myself to say that nobody will ever be better.  It's just like the old-timers who hold on to Bill Russell or Wilt or whatever.  Sure, they were good, and maybe us youngsters can't appreciate it, but you have to allow for new players to possibly be better.  Jordan's prime was in the 90's, and I did quite a lot of basketball-watching then, so I feel qualified to compare him against today's stars.

However, I tried to be as objective as possible while watching this year's team.  Would they actually beat the Dream Team?  Anecdotally, the Dream Team was sculpted by the hand of Zeus from the peaks of Mount Olympus.  But were they really that good?  Statistically, the 2012 team was a better shooting team.  A few computer-generated analyses pitted the two teams against each other, with the 1992 team coming out on top in each instance, albeit by a very close margin.

So I decided to compare the teams against each other, matching the players and seeing how they compare.  The numbers to the right represent the advantage of the 2012 team against the Dream Team:

Laettner, Christian	Anthony Davis	1
Robinson, David	Tyson Chandler	-3
Ewing, Patrick	Kevin Durant	4
Bird, Larry	James Harden	2
Pippen, Scottie	Carmelo Anthony	-3
Jordan, Michael	LeBron James	-1
Drexler, Clyde	Russell Westbrook	-2
Malone, Karl	Andre Iguodala	-3
Stockton, John	Chris Paul	2
Mullin, Chris	Deron Williams	2
Barkley, Charles	Kevin Love	-2
Johnson, Magic	Kobe Bryant	2

Keep in mind that this is the team as it was during their respective Olympics - not during their primes.
Laettner vs Davis - Laettner, as we all know, was worthless as an NBA player, while Davis hasn't even had a chance.  Davis, in my opinion, will become one of the greatest players of his generation, but of course, we don't know that yet.  However, Laettner was so terrible that I have to give Davis a 1 point edge.  The likelihood of Davis having a career as bad as Laettner is very low.

Robinson vs Chandler - I'm not the hugest Chandler fan, but he is a good defender.  Robinson had both the defensive and offensive abilities, which is why I've given him a 3 point advantage over Chandler.  I actually was never really that impressed with Robinson, and thought that Duncan was a far superior player, but I will concede that he is a much better option than Chandler.

Ewing vs Durant - Ewing, to me, was one of the most overrated players of the 90's.  I watched my Pacers play series after series against the Knicks, and I was more scared of John Starks than Ewing.  Sure, his stats looked good, but he was easily countered by the Davis boys, Antonio and Dale, and even Rik Smits.  Comparing him against Durant is a little unfair, because Durant is an amazing scorer, and is the 2nd best player today.  By the time he's done, he will be in the conversation with Jordan and Lebron as the best player ever.  I'm not sure we're appreciating Durant as much as we should be right now.

Bird vs Harden - Larry Bird was pretty much useless with his back injuries, which is why I've given James Harden, who is probably the worst player on the 2012 team, the advantage.  Larry Legend is certainly one of the all-time greats and also a great guy, but by all accounts he couldn't do much for the Dream Team.

Pippen vs Melo - Melo certainly has his moments, specifically against Nigeria with his amazingly hot hand, but for against top-notch competition he has a tendency to keep shooting when he's off.  However, when he wants to, his defense and rebounding are pretty good.  Pippen, to me, is one of the more underrated players of the 90's, as he proved how good he was when Jordan left.  A 3 point advantage for Pippen against Melo is pretty generous, but I think he deserves it.

Jordan vs Lebron - This argument will gain more and more traction as Lebron piles up more titles.  In the afterglow of Jordan's dominating career, we started remembering him more as a basketball God than someone who was simply an electric player.  Jordan was great, and I agree he's the best player ever, but he somehow is remembered to be better as each year goes by.  Lebron is currently playing, and was picked apart during every offseason until this year, because he finally won a title.  Lebron's ceiling, in my opinion, is higher than what Jordan ever achieved, but it will still be a while until he reaches it, if he does at all.  Maybe he's too nice a guy.  All I know is that Lebron is a much better person that MJ, and I was super glad that he changed his number from 23 to 6.  I still give MJ the edge because Lebron isn't there yet, but it's only by 1 point.

Drexler vs Westbrook - I remember Drexler being pretty awesome, so I'm a big fan.  I'm also not a huge fan of Westbrook, because he is so turnover prone and doesn't know how to pass.  There is nothing more frustrating than rooting for a team with Westbrook on it.  On one possession, he steals the ball from the opponent's best player and does an amazing dunk on the other end.  On the next possession, he dribbles uncontrollably down the court, passes up a wide open Durant for 3, and throws up some terrible shot.  I only gave Drexler a 2 point advantage because Westbrook's defense is so great.

Malone vs Iguodala – I never cared for Iguodala until the 2010 World Championships.  It was then that he played like the Ultimate Team Player.  Insanely tough on D, knew his role, didn’t take bad shots, he was, in my opinion, the 2nd most important player on that team, 2nd to Durant.  So it hurts me to give him a 3 point disadvantage to Malone.  I love the Jazz, but I’m still bitter at Malone – not for playing for the Lakers in his last season, but for choking so epically against the Bulls in the ’97 and ’98 Finals.  In ’97, I can forgive-it was his first Finals and he was just happy to be there.  In ’98, however, the Jazz had the best team in the NBA and deserved to dethrone the Bulls.  But, regardless, Malone was a great rebounder, passer, defender, and a decent shooter.

Stockton vs Paul – Stockton has a special place in my heart for NOT choking in the playoffs, or the Finals.  He was the MVP of the Jazz both those years, in the playoffs.  A great passer, knew when to start calling his own number.  But, frankly, Chris Paul, when healthy, and he was healthy during these Olympics, is just one of the awesomest point guards ever.  He’s a great shooter, defender, passer, everything.  I have to give New School 2 points here.

Mullin vs Williams – When Deron was on the Jazz, I thought he was better than CP3.  But now I have to give a lot of that credit to Sloan’s system, which could also be said for John Stockton.  What if Chris Paul played for Sloan?  Could he have been simply amazing in that system?  Anyway, I still love Deron, and he’s a great point guard.  Mullin is one of the overrated players of that generation, along with Ewing.  I don’t care what his stats looked like, I was never impressed by him.  Maybe it was his haircut.  It’s worth noting that Mullin is now one of my favorite announcers in basketball.  I’d take him over Van Gundy even.  But maybe not Stan Van Gundy.  I have a feeling Stan is going to be much better than Jeff at complaining about the refs.

Barkley vs Love – I love Love and I love Barkley.  Love didn’t play too well at times during the Olympics, whereas Barkley was the best (and most entertaining) player on the Dream Team.  I only give Barkley 2 points because I think Love is really that good.  There’s a lot of room to argue this.

Magic vs Kobe – In the battle of Laker greats, I have to give Kobe the edge here.  Mostly because Magic didn’t even play that season, and was invited back on the team after the whole HIV scare died down.  Kobe certainly showed some signs of aging in these Olympics, so I’d give Aging Kobe a 2 point edge over Rusty Magic.  This truly pains me, since Kobe’s pettiness only rivals Jordan’s.

When you add up the totals, you get a 3 point edge for the Dream Team.  So do I think the Dream Team would beat the ’12 team by 3 points every single game?  Of course not, sit down!  Basketball is such an interesting game because it is prone to upset.  That’s why we see upsets most every March.  One team matches up well with another, gets hot, and upsets a much better team.  So I think the Dream Team would be a 3 point favorite.

But the more interesting question is, who would win in a 7 game series?  I say the Dream Team in 6.  The 2012 team’s ferocious perimeter defense would give them a victory, and then the hot shooting of Melo and Durant would give them another game.  Kobe’s selfishness would cost them a game, and 2 games would be won by the Dream Team because of the dominating size of the “bigs”. Game 6 would come down to a showdown between Lebron and Jordan, but Jordan’s competitive edge would get the best of Lebron.  All the games would be within 10 points, and competitive from start to finish.  So, old-timers, are you happy?  The old school beat the new school!

Now that that’s clear, we can move onto the real question:  Who would win in a fist-fight between George Costanza and Jerry Seinfeld?