As I get older, I've started to acquire so much history with teams in the various leagues that I follow (NBA, MLB, NFL, College sports), that I have differing feelings on almost every team. This comes in handy when watching otherwise meaningless games, because I know who to root for, especially as the playoffs come around. Here are my 2012 NBA rankings. I would say the first 8 teams I actually like, the next 10 I really don't have many feelings about, the next 7 I dislike but don't really mind if they win, and the last 5 I can't stand in differing degrees.
1. Jazz - Cause I'm from Utah. Duh.
2. Pacers - Cause I was born in Indiana. Duh.
3. Celtics - Cause I live here. Duh.
4. Clippers - You have to like the Clippers if you hate the Lakers, plus Griffin is a ton of fun to watch, as is Paul.
5. Thunder - When the Jazz are contenders, I don't like anybody in their division because they play all the time. But the Thunder have the best chance to beat my hated teams, so, therefore, Go Thunder and junk.
6. Grizzlies - I will always have a soft spot for small-market teams that never win, especially ones that beat the freaking 1-seeded Spurs, which was one of my all-time favorite NBA moments.
7. Mavs - I like them because Kurt likes them and they aren't the Lakers, but also because they beat the Heat last year, which was also one of my favorite all-time NBA moments.
8. Kings - Jimmered.
9. Wizards - I feel sore-y (said in the Canadian accent--think Gilbert from Anne of Green Goblins) for them.
10. Suns - I like Nash, and also I pretty much like all West Conf teams besides the Spurs and the Lakers.
11. Bucks - Small market, sucky, so I feel sorry for them and root for them.
12. Cavs - Ditto, also the Lebron thing.
13. Raptors - Ditto
14. Hornets - Ditto
15. Nets - The neglected younger brother, the nerdy kid, the ugly duckling. I like them because I hate the Knicks, and also because of D-Will.
16. Rockets - I used to hate them because they were the rival of the Jazz, and also because Brian inexplicably liked them (they didn't even start with a "B"! I suspected fair-weather play. See what I did there? Instead of foul play, I did "fair-weather" play! No? Didn't work for you?) Now they're stuck in the middle and I don't really care about them.
17. Hawks - They used to be much higher, but I'm tired of them.
18. Magic - I used to really like the Magic, but then I started disliking Dwight, and also ESPN plays like every one of their games so now they annoy me.
19. Bobcats - Whatever. Jordan owns them so I dislike them and hope they continue to suck. Jordan is a tool who can't let things go. Ironically, neither can I.
20. Wolves - I like Love, I like Rubio, but I still don't like the Wolves for some weird reason. Jazz rivals I guess.
21. Warriors - Tired of how often they are on TV and how boring they are to watch.
22. Nuggets - Jazz rivals, also I hate Melo, and he's not on their team anymore, but still.
23. Pistons - Still have hatred because of Laimbeer, although beating the Lakers in 2004 was awesome.
24. 76ers - I don't like teams from Philly, except the Eagles, because of Ty Detmer.
25. Blazers - Jazz rivals and their announcers are the biggest homers I've heard on NBATV.
26. Knicks - They get way too much attention for a mediocre team. I hate Melo and the Linsanity thing was super obnoxious.
27. Bulls - I swore that I would hate the Bulls forever back in 1998, and I stand by that. It pains me to root for them over the Heat.
28. Lakers - It's the Lakers. Duh. The question with the Lakers is who do I hate most on the Lakers? It used to be Fisher, but now it's Bynum.
29. Spurs - People always ask me why I hate the Spurs. I respond, why do you NOT hate the Spurs? Ginobili is the worst flopper ever, Parker is a skeezy Frenchie, Duncan doesn't think he's ever committed a foul, and Popovich ruined the sanctity of the game by going to that stupid Hack-a-Shaq strategy in the playoffs. Lost all respect for him then.
30. Heat - I don't hate Lebron, just his decision. I do hate D-Wade, though, who is really giving Ginobili a run for his money on the flopping issue.
So, there it is. As the playoffs start, I'll be consulting my rankings to know where I stand on each match-up, and now, you can also know where I stand. However, if any of the bottom 5 teams meet, I really don't bother watching because it's like watching the Democratic Primaries. Who do you root for if they're all evil?
