Oldest Clothes

As I was donning my trusty Sorel boots last night to go out and shovel, I realized that I've had these boots for a VERY long time. Then I started thinking about all of the clothes that I still wear on a regular basis, and there were quite a few items from the 90's. I only counted the ones that I have used in the last year. Most of the items on the list offend my wife to the very core. Listed in chronological order:

MathCounts t-shirt from 1994: The ultimate "Math Nerd" t-shirt, I was too embarrassed to wear this shirt until high school, maybe 3 years after competing in the National Math Nerd Competition of 1994. I think all of us have a bunch of these old t-shirts. My favorite comp, Gertsch, showed me a quilt his mom made with pieces of all his old shirts. I thought that was a pretty cool idea, except that I'm not done wearing my favorite shirts. I can still squeeze a few more years out of my precious t-shirts. My siblings should remember my infamous "Swim, Herschel, Swim" t-shirt that was so threadbare, it unraveled while I was wearing it.

Snow bibs from 1994: All the cool kids in my neighborhood skied. They all had expensive Columbia ski parkas and matching ski pants. So when I wanted to get some waterproof pants for various snow activities, my mom brought me home some super dorky snow bibs. Once again, too embarrassed and cool to actually wear these, I only wore them on winter scouting trips and family sled trips to far off mountains, far from the mocking eye of the popular kids of Canyon View Junior High. In January of 2005, when I inherited some snowboarding gear from my cousin, I went looking for waterproof pants and I found my old snow bibs. They were extremely tight and gave me a nice wedgie, but they were warm and kept me dry. I could avoid the wedgie if I tied the straps around the waist, so they worked for the whole season, and I only looked dorky when I took off my coat. Melanie sported them 2 seasons ago before we bought her pants, and I took them with me to the Camp Joseph scouting trip over Thanksgiving, letting one of the young men borrow them. He thought they were dorky. Ungrateful chumpling!

Sunday shoes from 1995: The brand-Deer Stag. The color-brown. The store-Mervyn's of University Mall. The cost-I'm sure not more than 30 or 40 dollars. These shoes are in surprisingly great shape and they're just a tad tight around my big toe. I pulled them out last year when I was out of brown shoe options. Melanie promptly bought me a new pair. I still look at my Deer Stags and long for the days when I was single and dressed poorly.

Boy Scout belt from 1996: In my days at Orem High from 1996 to 1998, Granolas were in. Everybody listened to Phish, wore hemp "jewelry", went to thrift stores, wore natural colors, grew dreadlocks, and showering was OUT. This bugged me immensely because I've always liked thrift stores, natural colors, and not showering. My mom was dragging me to Savers while you were wearing your Mossimo t-shirts and stone-washed Girbauds! I hated being part of the trend in high school, but sometimes you just have to conform to the style if you happen to like that style. Anyway, I swiped some old scout pants and belt from my dad's closet and started wearing those to school. Everybody always commented "Nice pants!" or "Nice belt!" I was so retro, you don't even know. I also dug up my old "Orchard Eagles" backpack I used in elementary for the extra Old School appeal. I was so popular with that, chicks were fallin' out of my pockets.

Sorel Boots from 1997: Snowboarding was getting big and my friends were all going backcountry snowboarding in the canyons of Fairview and Spanish Fork. There were plenty of snowboards to go around, so all I needed were boots. Snowboard boots were still in the early stages and pretty expensive, so I decided to go with regular boots that could work decently on a snowboard. So I dropped one hundred bones on Sorels from REI. I felt pretty ripped off at the time, I didn't even wear them all that much. But considering they're in almost the same shape as the day I bought them, it turned out to be a pretty good investment.

Brown "Granola" socks from 1998: I think socks are definitely something that most people rarely hold onto for more than a couple of years. Not in the Hansen household. I wore socks growing up that were older than me. Of course, now that I'm living the lifestyle of the Very Very Big and the Very Very Tiny (guess that reference!), I buy a brand new bag o' socks every year. What a snob I am! Anyway, these Granola socks were given to me by my lovely mother, when I told her I needed some Thick Socks for my snowboarding journeys. I still wear those socks on my snowboarding journeys now. They've lost all their elastic, and they sink into my boots and are very uncomfortable, but I'll be DANGNABBED if I retire those socks. They will die when I die.

Winter coat from 1998: Me and Ma bought this coat for 50% off the day after Christmas. I wore it through 2 winters in Poland and one winter in Russia. It was too warm for snowboarding, so I ditched the coat for my snazzy new snowboarding coat in 2005. Once I moved out past the 'burbs, I realized I was spending a lot of time outside again (especially with the scouts), so I dusted off Ye Olde Faithful Warme Jacket, and I wear it with pride. It is pretty dorky-looking though, but I embrace it.

Suit from mission: I still (barely) fit in my mission suits. A little tight around the waist, but 10 years later, I still fit. We bought me a new suit in Thailand and I certainly hope that 10 years from now it will still fit.

So, there's the list. I'm sure some people's list could annhilate mine.

When we were in Thailand, my ma-in-law pulled out dishes and other kitchen things that they had gotten for their wedding. That was like 150 years ago. I was thinking about how my parents also have a ton of things from their wedding, and of course I was only married in 2007, so there's nothing I DON'T have from the wedding. I wonder when I'm old and gray, I'll pull out my handy Black & Decker drill and think, "Paula gave me this 293 years ago!" And then I'll screw in my new Fountain of Youth that I got at a clearance sale at JC Penney the day after the Holiday Formerly known As Christmas (HFAC).