Glog post: BYU vs Boise St

I love BYU football and basketball.  I grew up watching the football games with several brothers and my dad, and then got into basketball mostly during my college days with my roommates.  Those were social events - we'd watch the games, calculate stats, sing along with the band and various crowd chants, argue about play calls, and just have discussions during the slow moments.

Now, I watch all the games alone.  Sometimes, I'll end up watching with someone else, but their way of watching the game doesn't match my way, and we don't end up doing it again.  Things just "didn't work out" I tell them.  So, mostly for Kurt and Brian's entertainment, I'm going to start doing game logs ("glogs") and share the thoughts I'm having, because I'm sick of not sharing them, or it is wasted on my wife, who is usually reading some dumb book (what a waste of time!) or preparing her Sunday school lesson like a saint on a Saturday night, and not like everybody else who does it during the last 20 minutes of sacrament meeting.

1st Quarter:

Here we go, Bronco versus the Broncos!  This will be the only Bronco/Broncos joke, I promise.

ESPN's special sideline reporter highlights a "big loss": Skyler Ridley.  Wait, I thought you said "big loss"?

Opening kickoff: offsides on us.  Are we the only team in the nation that has this problem? 

KVN with a big play.  It's about time, that guy is never around when you need him.

Boise with a big pass play.  Nice mitts!

The announcer says "Nevada" correctly (with the hard "a").  I am so used to "Nev-ah-da" that the correct way is starting to sound weird.

Boise goes for it, as they should've, from the 35, and they don't get it.  Bronco smirks, "Should've punted there.  The smart money's on the punter."

Williams is back!  With 3 touches on the first 3 plays, he should be out by the end of the 1st quarter, and out of football by the end of the season.

Hill loses a yard instead of chucking it out of bounds.  Someone's thinking about his completion percentage!  He needs to also be thinking about his run average, which, if I were him, would be my priority.

Brown with a big run through a big hole.  The O-line is looking good so far.

Throwing on 3rd and 2?  When we were running through big holes the whole drive?  At least we picked it up on 4th and 2.

I hate the fade routes.  Hate them.  So let it be written.

Wesley (#57 O-line) picks up where he left off: another False Start.  He's going for the all-time record.

Another empty drive into the red zone.  Long sigh.

This announcer sure loves the mountains.  Can't hardly blame him.

Big hit by Fua!  I love that guy.  Although I thought he was a sophomore, so a little disappointing to only have one more year of him.

BRING THE VAN NOISE!

Henderson (?) with his first career catch!  Skyler who?

Taysom shovels a one-foot pass to Falslev.  In practice, Anae tells Hill to "hand it to Falslev coming across" and Hill suggests changing it from a hand-off to a shovel pass.  "That counts as a pass, right?  Right?"

The Field Goal range stripe is being shown now.  First of all, it's the first quarter, who cares about FG range?  And second of ly, isn't the 25 yard line a little generous for BYU?

Taysom runs it in for the easiest TD ever from the 20 and 1/2 yard line.  Bronco calls up the stat booth and asks if that can count for a red zone TD.

Nobody celebrates tackles like the kickoff team.  And nobody breathes heavier sighs of relief than me when the returner is tackled.

Boise just lost 3 yards by trying to gain more yards!  The old "grab 'em and then let 'em go" strategy!

Fua with a nice shake-blocker-off-and-make-the-open-field-tackle tackle.  That's tougher than it looks.

Lots of TE action here in this first quarter.  Good to see them getting involved.  Let's try to keep it up.

Hill fakes out the cameraman yet again.

3rd and 1 and we run it up the gut for the first down.  The correct play call.

Run on 3rd and 9?  What the..?!  I got it on 3rd and 20, but 3rd and 9?  The crowd doesn't like it, and neither do I.  NEITHER DO I.

2nd Quarter:

61 passing yards last year in the entire game vs Boise?  We are SPOILED this year.  This doesn't mean that I won't complain ad nauseam. 

The color guy goes off on the targeting stuff.  I don't really care.  It's the celebration penalty that I don't agree with.  And also I object to all this forward pass nonsense.

ESPN game break to talk about the Marcin Gortat trade!  The Suns are openly trying to win 0 games this year.  They may even PLAY the injured Okafor.

Boise going for it on 4th from their own 40!  I like it!  Why not?  They can't stop our O until the red zone, so might as well.  Of course, if I were a coach, I wouldn't punt at all, and I'd always kick onside kicks.

They pick it up!  Good job, Boise.  I like your moxie.

Trick play!  More moxie!  I like it.  This number 11 on Boise is tough to tackle.

D stuffs them on 4th and short!  Bad spot I think, refs gave us a break on that one.

Stay on your feet, Taysom! Foolish!

The announcer screws up the Stanford/Taysom story by not mentioning that Harbaugh left Stanford.

3rd and 6 and we throw it 20 yards down the field?  Arrrrrrrgggggghhh.  This means we punt it from the 39.  Don't worry, though, we have them pinned down at the 8!  Just pencil in the safety now - they'll never get out of there!

They got out of there.  Bronco stands by his punting decision.  "I would punt 10 out of 10 times in that same situation" he probably tells the team.  This reminds me of John Fox's defense of the Broncos (Denver, not Boise) not trying to score with 31 seconds left against the Ravens in last year's playoffs, 2 timeouts and the best QB of all-time in his pocket.  We all know they lost the game, but Fox said afterwards that he would do that every time in that situation and Elway backed him up.  Really?  Every single time?  You don't think that maybe that was the wrong call at all?  Not even going to consider it?  That's like an NBA team not trying to score with 2 seconds left.  Sure, it's not likely, but you might as well try.  Something terrible could happen, like a steal or an offensive foul or something, but that's even less likely.  Play the odds, John!  All this for a hypothetical quote from Bronco.

Sorenson is down.  Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  Sorenson is one of the best safeties we've had.

I hate hate hate these dumb Coors commercials where they dig the beer bottles out of the cliffside on the highest peaks in the world.  The cost of getting those beers must be enormous.  Coors must be operating at a steep loss.

CALL IT BOTH WAYS, REF!!!!  (PI on us in the end zone)

3rd and 5 and we throw it 20 yards down the field again.  This time Hoffman made the play, but I still hate the call.  Not a high percentage play for 3rd down - I'd like to see that play on 1st or 2nd down.

Speaking of...touchdown to Apo!  Now there's a first down play!  Alright!  Okay!  Here we go!

I love Boise's helmets.  There, I've said it.  I can't take it back now. [Editor's note: He took it back]

Gift fumble!  Never look a gift fumble in the mouth.

Mahina is looking good.  Checking....rats, he's a junior.  Where are all the sophomores?  Oh yeah, Hill and Williams.  But who else?

Hoffman sets the record!  What a catch!  This was similar to the Utah St INT he gave up, but this time he wouldn't let the shrimpy CB take it from him.  Taysom needs to put more arc on those jump balls.

Baylor plays nobody, is ranked 6th.  Texas Tech plays nobody, is ranked 10th.  N Illinois plays nobody, is ranked 23rd.  Just sayin'.

3rd Quarter:

ESPN opens with a "never stop improving" graphic (sponsored by Loweseph's) showing us with 376 first half yards vs 681 total yards against Houston last week.  Not shown: the 456 total yards we had in the first half vs Houston, clearly not an improvement.  Bronco must've been FIRED UP about this at halftime.

Hoffman with an uncharacteristic drop, but then caught by Friel!  Hoffman is spared a chew-out from Taysom for almost decreasing his completion percentage.

Williams gets a big hole and get a large chunk of yards, but can't get away from the safety.  I would love to see Williams break one and go the distance, but I'm not sure he has it in him.  He doesn't seem to have that extra gear that Taysom does.

Yet another punt from Bronco inside the 40 year line - nay - inside the 35 yard line.  I believe the yearly total is 7 punts inside the 40.  It promptly goes into the end zone.  BYU gains 14 yards field position on the play.  Why not, at the very least, give Sorenson the chance to make a long FG and gain some confidence?  Bronco coaches like he's afraid of the other team's feelings.

Boise promptly negates the 14-yard field position advantage with a big run.  I personally think that Bronco punts so often from "no-man's land" because he's hoping for a safety opportunity.  He loves safeties more than Hansens, if that's even possible.

Williams reverses direction and gets 12ish yards!  Excellent move.  On the next play, Lasike gets 13 yards up the gut and it just doesn't seem like Boise's even trying anymore.  I'll be surprised if we throw it again this game.  There's 10 minutes left in the 3rd quarter.

Nevermind - Hill to Mathews for a long touchdown!  Perfect pass from Hill - he's really learning to throw the long ball.  We all hope that Mathews doesn't take off his helmet and reveal his terrible haircut.  Bronco was pretty pissed we picked up that 3rd down because he was looking forward to punting from the 40.

Offsides again on the kickoff.  How on earth does this happen ever!??!?!  Maybe wait a half-second to run?  #34 was guilty this time - who is that?  "BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!!"  (infamous Kurt quote about underperforming BYU players)

Daniels (#4 defense) with another pass knockdown.  Considering how down everybody was on the secondary at the beginning of the season, Daniels has been solidly solid.

Mathews with his helmet off!  Look away!  How is that haircut allowed at the testing center?  Of course, I shouldn't talk, with my infamous mullet my senior year and "Wasatch Front" mountain design shaved into the side by my buddy Jason.  But still.

Boise takes a punt back a ways.  This has many benefits to the BYU fan: 1. BYU will get the ball back faster.  2.  Perhaps Bronco will think twice about punting from inside the 40 (doubtful).  3.  If Boise scores again, BYU's offense will be more aggressive.  4.  Punt return yards don't count against defensive yardage stats.

Boise goes for it (yet again) on 4th!  I hope they get it - this will show Bronco that sometimes teams do pick up first downs.

We had him for a sack but he got away and got the first!  Bronco's not convinced that punting isn't the right option there.

Hague goes down - we are practically pulling people out of the stands to play in the secondary.  Send a scout over to the intramural fields!

'Unga with a knockdown.  I'm loving 'Unga - he's no KVN but he's a keeper.  Also, nice touch with the apostrophe on his jersey.

Big play for Boise here.  I can't decide if I want them to score or not.   On the one hand, I like it when our D keeps people out of the end zone.  On the other, point 3 above.

Bronco calls a time-out.  Apparently he can't decide if he wants Boise to score or not either.  "What do you think guys?  Let them score here?  I think they're feeling bad about themselves, they could use an esteem boost."

Boise gets in the end zone!  It looked suspiciously like we let them score.  Just like Bronco drew up.

Speaking of honor code, how is KVN getting away with that beard?  I always thought that Hadley's honor code suspension was because of the 'stache before I remembered that 'staches are legal at BYU, because, you know, beards are evil but mustaches are good.

Hine drops the kickoff.  An audible "ohhhhhhhhhhhh" from the crowd.

If BYU plays Utah in the bowl game this year, I will kill someone.  Not sure who yet.

BYU runs it up the middle 3 plays in a row for a 3 and out.  So much for point 3 above.  Our last 5 games we've essentially given up on offense in the 2nd half and it's puzzling as to why.  I don't think we can blame the other team's defensive adjustments - the play-calling is obviously more conservative.  Some of the games it's because we have a lead, but why can't we work on our offense?  Maybe send out Olsen and have him run the offense?  We all know that Taysom's plays are numbered, no way he doesn't get hurt at some point this season or next.

I love that Ron Burgundy Dodge commerical with the child horse (horseling?).  The last line kills me:  "What are you studying in school?"

I realize that a child horse is a colt.  Just not very funny sounding.

Fumble, then we take a shot downfield!  Told you we still take shots in the 2nd half!  I have to give Hoffman the touchdown there, he had it before he was knocked unconscious.  The Boise secondary is going through his wallet currently.

Another red zone opportunity not turned into a touchdown.  We're trying for last place in the FBS (currently we're 102nd).  At least Sorenson made the FG.  Why didn't we punt there?

EPSN shows highlights from the 2000 season with the bib uniforms.  So embarrassing.

Boise's other kick returner has zero faith in the kick returner who catches it, he's practically tackling his teammate in the end zone.

PoVey with the INT!  We get the ball at the 43.  D with 3 takeaways this game.

Stop running the stretch play!  We lose yards every single time, just go up the middle for crying out loud.  Bronco can't punt this fast enough.  Get ready for a steady stream of punting jokes in every glog for the rest of my life.  The punt goes in the end zone of course, but I can't add it to the "inside the 40" total because we lost a chunk of yards on 2nd down.  Rats.

Boise starts moving it down the field and our D looks uninspired.  They're probably disappointed the O does nothing with the turnovers.

Another fumble from Boise.  Another 3 and out from an uncreative offense.  Yawn.  I wrote those last 2 sentences before the 3 and out even happened.  This is why I start rooting for the other team.

Hawaii is 0-6.  Is Norm still the coach there?  They are terrible.  They need to start scheduling more games at 2 AM MDT.

The Sportscenter program alert kills me.  "In case you don't have time to catch Sportscenter the other million times it's on..."  Who's turning this on and thinking, "WHERE THE H IS MY SPORTSCENTER!!!!  Oh, here's a program alert right here.  I'll just wait patiently through this 4th quarter in which the blue team doesn't seem to be trying."

Even better than the Ron Burgundy ad: The Dr Pepper ad with the bear canoeing.  Absolutely slays me, and I've seen it hundreds of times.  "Bold flavor".

As long as we're talking about great ads: All of the Old Spice ones with Wes Welker.  My favorite is the long shower one.

Boise scores.  It's a 14 point game.  Maybe time to start trying again?

Boise gets an offsides on the kickoff as well!  It's not just us!

And just like that, our offense starts moving the ball again.  Yes, doctor, I do think it's the playcalling.

When Hill throws it away, he THROWS IT AWAY.  "Camo-hat guy" gets a souvenir.  He's up in portal NN.

Ugh.  We stall at the 20 again.  This is the reason why we lost to Utah and we will lose again in a tight game if we can't improve this.

iPhones come in different colors now!??!?!  When will the madness end?

"Barely an empty seat" the announcer says, with a seat of blue seats in the lower East stands empty.  Listen, buddy, some of us have early bedtimes.

Another 4th down stuff!  Turns out the D still cares!  At least one side of the ball does.  The Bronco teams are the anti-Lavell teams.  The D plays hard 'til the end now, not like on Lavell's teams when the O played all 60 minutes and the D showed up when they felt like it.

Must.  Watch.  UCLA.  Versus.  Oregon.

2nd and 1.  Call the "CTR" play.  We need to have more religious symbols in our play-calling.  Generate some missionary work.  Speaking of which, I rejected the J-dubs today.  I used to tell them I was a Mormon, but that just encourages them, so now I just say "I'm not interested" and they leave me alone faster.

Look, if we're just running the clock out, let's get Hill out of there.  We don't need to risk injuries.

The refs frantically stop the play and add 5 seconds to the clock in the meaningless closing minute!  Nobody's questioning the refs' dedication - they ref all 60 minutes.

Final score: BYU 37-20.  An impressive first 35 minutes.  The last 25 were forgettable and, frankly, concerning.  One of these days we're going to let someone back in the game and we may lose.  We need to have the pedal to the metal until we have AT LEAST a 70 point lead.  Can't be too careful nowadays.