It's basketball time! Cougar fans don't watch the hoop games as religiously as the football games, but I do. Basketball is a great game to watch because there's so many stats and so many jokes to make during the game. So I'm going to try and glog (game-log for you new listeners) every game.
Alright! Okay! Here we go!
I have to turn the TV volume up to 15 because I'm doing some Dad-level chomping on kettle corn right now. Our announcers are Spencer Linton and David Nixon, who have KOHS-level experience. I'm not going to complain about not having Fowler, but I will complain about missing McCann, who has a silky smoove voice and a decent sense of humor. We also have the token female sideline reporter, Lauren something, so we'll count how much we'll actually hear from her this game. Counting the pre-game report that zero people listened to, we're at 1. She'll get the last laugh when she's taking Holly Rowe's place on ESPN in a few years. I will say that Spencer's not half bad, but I'm not a big fan of Nixon, who should stick to football.
I'm going to keep track of a new stat this game: Ballhog ratio (or as I used to call it, "Hogball"). The last exhibition game, I noticed Carlino was shooting the ball most every time he touched it, so now I'm going to keep track of it, as well as the PG for Weber for comparison's sake. Anyway, every time you get the ball, it ends in either a pass, a shot, a TO, or a foul. I want to calculate Carlino's ratio because I'm pretty sure he leads the league for PG's.
BYUTV screws up the first score - it's Weber 999 - BYU 2! What a game!
Carlino scores the first 4. His ratio: 2/3. 2 shots out of 3 touches. 67% seems unsustainable, but he'll do his best to maintain it.
Carlino's ratio is now 4/5. He's regretting that first pass.
Worthington and his hair check in. You have to say "Worthington" with a British accent.
Carlino with 2 passes on one possession!
I love everything about Collinsworth's game except that he can't shoot. At all.
BYU's up 11-3 early, but we've missed 3 gimme's, so it should be 17-3. Of course, Weber's 1-11 so there's that.
Carlino with a nice alley-oop to Worthington. Worthington, like the proper gentleman that he is, lays it up. Only Philistines dunk, taught his mother in Sunday School.
Carlino sits out with a 4/8 hogball ratio. He shoots it only 50% of the time he touches it. On the other side, Weber's PG has an 11% ratio, so I'm going to stop keeping track of it. I need Brian to keep these stats for me. Don't worry, I'll keep tabs on Carlino.
Winder with the steal, gets swatted, C-worth swats it on the other end and Winder lays it up! Fun sequence.
Haws hasn't been on fire yet this year. He's saving it for Utah.
Frank Bartley with the and-1! I had no idea parents were still naming kids "Frank". I thought we agreed to retire that name. Misses the FT.
That Emergency Preparedness ad throws me for a loop every time. You think it's going to be funny, but it's not. At all.
I've seen hundreds of Brady Industries ads and I still have no idea what they do.
Another count I need to keep track of: time BYUTV misses a play because they're focused on some player. Today's total: 1. (inbound score to Mika, I think)
Football score alert: 21-7. Spence notices and makes a nice TD reference. See? I told you Spence wasn't half bad.
Nixon's super excited about Bartley, but the kid can't shoot. We already have C-woth, so why do we need another swingman who can't shoot? Who are we, the 2004 USA basketball team? Zing!
Halford checks in! Halford is an SLCC transfer who shoots "lights-out". So far this season: 0-20. Okay, not that bad, but he was throwing up bricks in both exhibition games.
Winder's looking a lot better this year. His decisions are solid, shooting is better, defense is quicker. His ankle definitely feeling better.
I'm not going to count inbound passes as touches.
Halford misses his first 3. On the year, he's shooting 0% (0-1). This guy is TERRIBLE. Rose yanks him.
My beef with Nixon is 1. It's nice to have an announcer as a whipping boy. 2. I just don't like his voice. Too "lurpy" sounding. I can't judge the actual content because I never listenwhen he's talking.
4 passes for Carlino on 1 possession!
Winder for 3!
41-22 with 4:15 left. On pace for 100, which is the most important thing in the world to me. More than my marriage and kids COMBINED.
Rose caught picking his nose on camera. "Scratch! Scratch! No pick!" he claims.
My biggest concern with this year's team is that I don't think we're jacking enough 3's, and we're certainly not hitting that many.
Carlino jacks and hits a 3! On cue! Haws needs to jack more 3s.
At the half: Phone interview with Blaine Fowler! Not to be missed! "So, uh..., how's it going?" "Good." "So...how's work?" "Good." "Great, great. [long pause] How's the home-teaching coming?"
Carlino misses at the buzzer! Does the shot count? Can I get a review on that, I need it for my hogball ratio! The refs ignore my request. BYU leads, 44-33.
Carlino's hogball ratio at halftime: 41%. 27 touches, 16 passes, 11 shots. No turnovers or fouls.
Halftime stats: 3/5 for 3's. I like the %, but the attempts? Only 10! We're not going to get 100 points with that kind of attitude. Also, only 2 TO's, that's very solid. Carlino used to average 2 TO's a half by himself.
I'd like to see Haws' shooting stats. It can't be that good, he had a lot of misses.
Weber within 9. Tresnik dominating down low. This is my token "opponent comment".
I should calculate Austin's foul ratio: how often he fouls versus total defensive chances. I love ratios.
Mika with a game-changing swat! 5 point swing right there.
Stat question: Carlino goes up for a shot but the ball's swatted out of his hands and out of bounds, going back to BYU. Should I count that as a shot even though the scorer's table won't? I vote yes, because the hogball ratio is to find out how often people shoot it every time they touch it. But it will make it harder to audit because I can't match up his shots to the scorer's at the end of the game. You see the conundrum here.
Carlino commits a TO off of the inbounds pass, which I'm not counting. So now the turnover column won't match either. An auditor's nightmare.
C-worth with a great drive and left-handed finish. He's so athletic, it looks like he's barely even trying out there. I just wish he could shoot outside of 5 feet.
Cutting to Sideline Lauren for the 4th time today! I didn't listen to what she said, though. She also caught up with Coach Rose before the half and the other coach after the half. Couldn't fast-forward through it fast enough.
Nixon keeping us updated on the defensive schemes for every possession. I'm surprised he hasn't said "3-4" or "Nickel package".
Carlino hits a deep 2 and we're back up 20, 61-41. Carlino's 2nd half ratio is amazingly 41% (7/17), which is the same as his 1st half. He's consistent in his hogballing.
Bartley is back in and picks up his 3rd foul. 3 minutes, 3 fouls.
Weber with 8 quick points and now it's a 12-point game. This is Worthington's fault.
BYU's been dominant rebounding the ball this game. This bodes well for the season, you always have a better chance when you out-rebound the other team.
Carlino is 9-20 at this point, and I have 20 shots for him, so apparently the stats people called that one that went out-of-bounds a shot.
Weber has a player named "Bolumboy". Sounds like "Gollum boy" every time the announcer says it.
C-worth is the Kirilenko of the team. His nickname is even "Big Russia".
Sideline Lauren makes another appearance: 5 is now the count.
Haws starting to feel it! 73-58 with 5:37 left.
Haws with the White Boy dunk! You know, where you lay it in and touch the rim afterward.
Carlino with a long string of passes, his ratio is down to 26% for the 2nd half. I'm going to say that 20-25% is probably where you would expect a scoring PG to end up. Russell Westbrook probably averages 40-50%, CP3 20%, Nash 10-15%, Nashif 1%.
We go over 80 and the fans cheer for free yogurt. I don't know how any fan can feel good about getting yogurt for 80 measly points. It's a downright embarrassment if you get less than 90.
Up 9 with 30 seconds left. Spence says the game is "still in question". I think that's a bit of a reach.
Your final score: 81-72, Cougs.
Sideline Laura made 2 in-game comments, BYUTV only missed 1 play all game, a huge improvement from last year, and the most important stat is Carlino's hogball ratio of 32%. I need to do some more analysis of other players to make that stat more meaningful.
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