In the summer of 2004, I was living in the crappiest apartment ever off of North Harvard Street in Allston, Mass., which is right to the west of Boston. I sublet a room for June through August from a dude who was at Tufts medical school and was gone for the summer. As I walked through the door at my new place, I saw my old grade-school buddy and rear-fence neighbor, Dustin Robert. He was there doing an internship somewhere in the medical field. He'd been there since the beginning of May.
The first day I was there, I went with Dustin to Institute, hoping to meet some girls. Maybe I would learn something about the gospel, but that was secondary. There were quite a few people there, and I met a few girls, but that wasn't important. What happened to Dustin, however, was. Probably the cutest girl there walked straight up to him and started chatting with him. I was admiring Dustin's grace and prowess while he stood there and fielding her questions with the ease of Dr. Love.
"What's your name? Where are you from? When did you move in? Are you working or going to school? What are you doing tomorrow? And the next day? And the day after that?"
She was effectively putting on the Full Court Press, or the FCP for short. But Dustin didn't mind. I couldn't blame him, she was pretty durned cute. As it turned out, they made a date for the next night. I was excited for him, and he was too.
The date turned out to be pretty fun. Dustin and FCP went out a couple of days later, again, and it had all the makings of a successful relationship. I had to leave for training on Monday for 2 weeks, so I knew I would miss out on the drama of his budding relationship.
I asked him to pick me up from the airport when I got back. I was expecting him to drive my 4Runner there, but instead I was met by FCP's red Ford sedan. They both greeted me and we went back to our place. Once there, FCP continued to FCP Dustin to the extent that I just didn't want to bother the lovebirds so I went to my room.
The next morning I found Dustin and tried to get the lowdown. I figured things were going great, picking me up from the airport together and all. Instead:
"She's driving me nuts! I have no air! She's suffocating me! Everywhere I go, there she is! She wants to hang out everyday and that's just way too much. Plus, she's pretty irritating."
"So why don't you just dump her?"
"I don't know. Kissing is pretty fun."
Ahhhhh. We've all been down that road. Spent a few weeks with an intolerable but cute girl only for the kissing.
The next few weeks were pretty entertaining. To get away from FCP, Dustin painted me as a needy friend who was having emotional problems, so he had to spend a lot of time with me alone. We even went up to Maine one weekend, sleeping in my car, just to avoid her invitation to spend a few nights with a bunch of friends in a cabin in NH. Of course, all of this could've been avoided if Dustin found the stones to drop her like the hot rock that she was.
Once I knew that Dustin didn't care much for FCP, I knew I could get away with teasing FCP a lot more than usual, maybe antagonizing her enough to break up with him. One particular night, we were watching TV when FCP showed up pretty late. I went to my room and read a book or something. I turned out the light and was just about asleep when I heard some voices down on the street. It was pretty late, about 2 AM, so I looked out the window and saw Dustin and FCP chit-chatting next to her car. I watched them for a couple of minutes as they said their goodbyes. It quieted down and it was apparent that there was to be some goodbye kissing. Dustin leaned in, closed his eyes, and puckered his lips. FCP followed suit, and right when their lips touched I yelled:
"SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
My voice echoed down the empty and silent street. I couldn't have timed it better. They both were completely startled and stopped kissing immediately. Dustin looked down at the street and laughed. FCP's feelings for me at this point could be classified as "Murderous Hatred", so she was not amused as she looked up at me in disgust. I was thoroughly pleased with myself, so much so that my laughing almost caused me to fall off my bed.
They broke up a little while later. Dustin and I fondly remembered and recounted that moment many times later. And that was my greatest moment.
Oh yeah, my wedding was pretty good, too.
6 comments:
Great story. Dustin will get you back when Melanie is in the delivery room.
It took me 5 minutes to notice the 'C' right before the 23 'O's in "SCORE". I thought for whatever reason you were yelling, "Sorry" (pronounced in the Gilbert Blythe Canadian way, of course).
you know what i like about you kent? it's the way you know just how to make people feel like complete and total idiots.
it's a gift. really.
Love the story. I also had a good moment like that myself when I lived at the 'hood. I was saying goodnight to ex-b Cory and we were hugging or something and some guy stuck his head in and yelled 'Kiss her!' and I yelled back 'Thanks a lot you jerk! This is a first date and is awkward enough!"
And had a good chortle.
I don't think I've laughed so hard at your posts, and I've laughed pretty hard. Thanks for that awesome story.
Someday, I wish to have a moment like that.
Thanks for the laugh. You have such a way with words. I think FCP should make an appearance in the Terrence chronicles when the sabbatical is over. Or is that who Melba represents?
Great story Kent. Nothing like breaking up an intimate moment.
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