The summer before I started high school, I attended a basketball day camp that our Athletic Director put together every year. One of the nuggets we were given was BEEF.
B - Bend your knees
E - Eyes on the basket
E - Elbows bent
F - Follow-through
Even if you did "BEE", you wouldn't make your shot. You had to include the "F". I have been seriously lacking in follow-through lately. Not so much at work, I'm actually pretty good with it there. Of course my job offers a different kind of motivation than my personal life, but I wish it didn't.
There are plenty of things that I want to do, that I know if I did them, it would make me happy. For instance, a clean house - makes me happy. No dirty dishes in the sink - makes me happy. Running or exercise - makes me happy. Sending cards/emails to friends and family - makes me happy. Writing new posts on the blog - makes me happy. So what's the problem? I can't convince myself to do any of them. Eventhough I know they won't really take that long to do and I know how happy and good I will feel after I do them (sometimes even during), I can't motivate myself to start. I'm going to be a big girl and admit that this is entirely my own fault. But how do you give yourself a swift kick in the pants? My legs are just not that long...
One of my key issues is that I'm really good at making excuses, no, not just excuses, justifications. Normally I try to be proud of my talents, but this one just gets me into trouble. The other part of the problem is that I create these ridiculous expectations in my head for every task which help them seem even more difficult and impossible - so why start? I used to have a slight issue with OCD - If I started to clean something I would have to thoroughly clean it. For example, when I was still single I started to wipe down the stovetop one Saturday afternoon and then noticed dirt and grime around the knobs, then I saw "stuff" all over the oven door, which led me to the other two sides of the oven that I could reach. Then once I was down on the floor I noticed that the kitchen tiles could use a real scrub, so off I went, scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees with a sponge and old toothbrush. That's right - PSYCHO. Not that it's a bad thing to thoroughly clean your kitchen every now and then, but not being able to stop until you've wiped up every possible microscopic crumb or spill is a daunting task. So, in my head, this is still what I expect to happen everytime I clean.
Here is where I have to be honest with myself. I think I'm past that stage. I'm pretty sure that I now have the self control to stop when I'm done with what I wanted to accomplish. I think I can wipe down the countertops and even the stove top and not end up pulling the fridge out to clean behind and all around it. However, how convenient of an excuse/justification is it that I just can't stop myself from doing that and I really just don't have the time or energy to take on a project like that...it's a vicious cycle, trust me.
Probably the worst part is the guilt I feel when I don't get any of these things done. The worst is when Kent volunteers to do it, or just does it. I know I should be grateful that he wants to help out, but it only reminds me of what I didn't do myself. Not to mention that he always seems to have a simple and obvious solution for everything, as I'm sure most men do. Yeah, I'm airing all sorts of dirty laundry for you today.
So, what do I do? I wish I had a nice moral to this story to wrap it up, but I just haven't gotten there yet. I know I just need to suck it up and get some things done. I just need to set smaller goals for myself, come up with a regular system to accomplish it all. It's just that simple, right? Well, we'll see how it goes. I'm hoping that by putting this out there, it will serve as the "kick in the pants" I so desperately need.
Follow-through Mel, follow-through.
6 comments:
I wish I had magic words to help you out with your predicament (side note: AWESOME WORD.), but alas, I do not. One thing I can tell you, however, is that I have that exact problem. For me, it involves drawing, which I'm pretty sure I'm good at and can get better at. The hardest part about drawing isn't the drawing itself, it's the starting. So often I put off and put off and put off until finally I just sit down and DO IT. It takes quite a bit of self-control. My self-discipline ain't exactly top notcheroo, but hey, I'm getting there.
I think everyone has the problem to a certain extent. But I have really weird quirks about cleaning as well. For example, for unloading the dishwasher I need clean hands. So I can do that anytime my hands are clean but loading the dishwasher means getting your hands dirty and so sometimes I procrastinate doing the dishes just because I don't want to get my hands dirty. It all comes down to my hands. Usually once I get my hands dirty then I feel I have the power to do anything else dirty, such as laundry, garbages, vacuuming, etc. And that results in my frequent 'sprees' of cleaning.
Also the amount of energy I have plays a big part. Sundays are the worst because Will is so tiring so my house usually is trashed on Sunday but I figure, hey, I'll clean it when I get energy again. Hopefully that occurs the next day.
Mel beats herself up too much about this. She does a great job of cleaning and doing laundry, and our house is almost always clean. I usually do my part to help, but most of my duties involve the backyard, so after all day on Saturday outside in the yard, I don't have a whole lot of energy for the indoor work.
I will say that she doesn't blog enough, because I love her posts.
I can totally relate. It took me 5 years to really pull myself together as far as certain household chores. And now that I sort of have a system I'm sure it will all come crashing down with a new baby joining the fam. I guess life is about doing our best. :) Let's all just pat ourselves on the shoulder for what we ARE doing right! That's the only way to stay sane.
I say, if Kent volunteers to do a job, let him. He's definitely not going to do it unless he 1) has the energy and 2) wants to. I know there are times when I'm totally unmotivated (and I have the messy house to prove it) and I sure do appreciate it when Mark helps out.
When you're working full time, when you come home you want to just chill and be off. If there is perhaps a time when you're no longer doing that, it may be easier.
Aaaah, just leave it. That's what I do. Cleaning? Overrated! When it starts to stink, you might think about it.
What's that about my not being married?
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