I've been working on this post for like 3 months, thinking that I would have more odd thoughts than I did. Also, some people would call this "Random thoughts", but I have serious issues with the word "random" and its misuse. Anyway, the following are thoughts/experiences I have that don't warrant an entire post, but are too important to be left unsaid:
I don't know why Target brand string cheese is so much better than all the other kinds of string cheese, but it is. It's so stringy!
I was alone in an elevator the other day when 3 old men got in. I'm not talking Gary old, I'm talking Francis old, like in their 80's. Since I was at Tuft's medical center, it wasn't surprising, except they all were dressed like high school kids! Baggy jeans, hip t-shirts, backwards caps. I thought for sure they were going to jump me and leave me for the Good Samaritan. I expected the geri-hooligans to start using new-fangled slang or maybe bust out a PSP. I didn't trust them one bit, those old rascals. I thought I was either on "Punked" or in some bizarro world. I've never been so scared in my life.
Yoplait is the best yogurt in America. That said, the Yoplait cup design has got to go. The skinny-at-the-top cup design makes it impossible to get every drop of yogurt out of the cup. There's always a bunch of yogurt stuck beneath the brim, which I have to use my finger to get out. I guess it's just another chapter in the war of Aesthetics vs Function, right after Decorative Towels and before The Living Room Ye Shall Not Enter. I hope Function wins.
I wonder if Pandora gets frustrated with me when I say I don't like more than 5 songs in a row.
Why do point guards in basketball think they're saving time by letting the ball roll to half-court while they risk a turnover? They will probably save 2 seconds, tops. This may matter if there are 5 seconds left, but not when there is 5 minutes left. I'm looking at you, Rajon Rondo.
How insulted should I be that a Jonas Brothers song just showed up on one of my Pandora stations? How can that be!?!?! The Jonas Brothers represent all that is wrong with music.
I've realized today that I've had some pretty good success becoming friends with my friends-in-law. You know, the husbands and wives of my friends. Most of you regularly comment on my blog, so I consider that as a good sign that we're oh-so-tight.
There should be an exclamation point tax. So blog posts like this are fewer: "Our family went to the park today! It was so fun! Nelvin said the funniest thing! Then Melvin got a poopy diaper! It was so cute how the poo squirted out and ran down his leg! Our family is so perfect! I can't wait until we all die and go to the Celestial Kingdom together! Today I said a curse! Well not really! LOL! But trials are just a part of life!" You get the drift. I'm not saying that people can't be excited about the excruciating minutia of everyday life, but just that they will have to pay dearly for it. The previous paragraph would then read like this: "Our family went to the park, it was nice to get out. That is, until Nelvin dropped the F-bomb and Melvin crapped all over the place. Then I swore at my kids and made a huge scene. Worst day ever." Let's just be a little more realistic about our pathetic lives.
Until next time.
16 comments:
I enjoyed this post. Sometimes, you just have a thought you want to write about but it's certainly not worth a whole post by itself. Then you feel like you have to talk about it forever, destroying all that is ponderable and/or funny about it.
Felicity wants to know what an F bomb is. (reading over my shoulder, as usual).
My mom was hooting her head off.That
was strange.What is a F-boam is?
I'm with you on "random". It is almost painful the way that word is abused in English. I may have gone with "Miscellaneous" instead of "Odd", but it works. Another word that gets abuse is "crazy", though its abuse is not quite as annoying.
On Yoplait, amen. Speaking of, yogurt is very rare and very expensive here. And no Yoplait. On form vs. function, what about small pillows on beds and couches?
On letting the ball roll, I think the point is that you get 2-3 more seconds to run your play, as the shot clock is only 23 seconds, which is not much time. They may not necessarily have one play that takes the full 23 seconds, but if they start one play and it doesn't appear to be working, they have enough time to back up and try another one. I think you usually see this when a team is losing because a winning team is playing with a better rhythm and doesn't feel they need the extra time.
And amen on exclamation marks. Enough is enough.
It's about time you had a decent post. I'm sick of this Terrence (crap). You need more "random thoughts" posts. And yes, the word really is random. Random because none of the ideas relate to each other. And random sounds better (and easier) than "unrelated thoughts that need to be said".
I had the EXACT same thought about Rondo a couple months ago. What an idiot. He did that several times, and even lost the ball once. I was so stoked when that happened. I'm not even sure he saves 2 seconds, either, because you lose the running start when you're waiting for the ball to roll down. Kind of the same effect when you miss a traffic light. You lose more than the time of the red light; you lose the speed that you were going and have to start up again. I'd say he saves 1 second max. I have a lot more NBA thoughts, but I'll wait for your steam to cool off in a month before I say 'em.
I can't believe you mentioned the Jonas Brothers in a post.
I have no clue what Pandora is.
I also agree on the Yoplait issue, and would commit hari-kari listening to you eat one. I'm not sure if there's anything more annoying than listening to someone scrape the bottom of a yogurt can. Except maybe listening to Dad eat an orange.
AAAAHHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE PETE BEAT ME BY ONE STUPID MINUTE! Shouldn't have waited for the ball to roll down the court.
Ha. Foiled again Kurt. I can't speak personally to Rondo, since I didn't see too much of the NBA playoffs, but it does sound like he got carried away with the idea.
Hey Kent! I know you consider me a B-F-F but I have to admit you are farther down my list at this moment! That is because I often use !! unnecessary excla!!mation!!! marks in my posts!!! My overuse of !!! such is not the prob!!lem the !!problem is your annoyance. A!! wi!! be forgiven if you make sure and !! leave equally over-enthusiastic! comments! on my constant gloating!! of my children and otherwise "pathetic" life!!!!!!!!
You know TAMN of Seriously So Blessed fame is all that encompasses the aforementioned overuse of exclamation points. There was definitely a Seinfeld episode about exclamation point usage. But I have to admit that there are certain people who I have to end ALL my sentences in exclamation points in order for them to know that I like them. If I end a sentence in a period it's like I'm mad at them or something.
Funny again, Kent.
Sam also has an aversion to exclamation points. Must run in the family. Murderers of joy is what I call you.
I'm with you on the Yoplait cup. I spend at least five minutes every morning fishing for hidden yogurt under that blasted rim!
I hope that I qualify as a friend-in-law even though I'm technically a cousin-in-law. But I think that should earn me extra points.
I can't wait for your kidlets to start arriving and we can see you transformed into a gooey, over-exclamation-pointing daddy. It will happen. It's always the guys you expect the least...
Also, I'm glad you guys had a good time. I can honestly say you're doing me a favor by being his buddy on such adventures so I don't always have to (as far as sports are concerned anyway). So thanks and I think the every couple years baseball get-away plan is great.
Alright I look like a stocker but am just responding to the other comment I did not see. Don't worry Kent. Good ol' Grandpa Don remembers you. When I told him where Brian was and what he was doing he said, and I quote, "What the hell for?" I would expect nothing less than this. He then called you guys city kids and made a few references to your visit.
Yes, my younger siblings are gigantic. I am the shortest one which is very annoying.
Finally, there was no mention of you or the glorious get-away because Brian is supposed to be doing a post of it all on his own. Hopefully the slacker gets on it to give you some good press.
I'm never one to comment twice on one blog at a time, but this one was pretty good. I concur with the excl. point tax!!!
I'm going to refer my (BEAUTIFUL - in case she reads this) wife to this post. (!!!)
I blogged about my adventures in Cincy... awaiting photos from Cleveland.
I can't believe nobody commented on the worst feature of all about Yoplait cups--the raised bottom. You know, the bottom is not actually at the bottom, but raised up like half a cm. So it looks like it's bigger on the shelf (and in the fridge) than it really is. "That is blatant false advertising!" (Otto voice)
However, I agree that Yoplait is by far the best-tasting yogurt, so I forgive them.
I think the every couple years baseball get-away plan is great idea
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