Thursday, April 25, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Epilogue

It's over.  I'm done.  I officially finished at 1:30 PM Monday when I ate the piece of bread that came with my salad. 

I weighed in at 183.6 lbs on Monday morning, making it nearly 20 lbs lost in all.  To be precise: 19.6.  I decided to not continue, because, frankly, I just got sick and tired of being hungry.  Even though I didn't make my updated goal of 180 lbs, losing 20 lbs in 3 weeks is a pretty great accomplishment.  It's nice to go home and have an actual dinner.

So now the battle is: how do I keep it off?  I don't expect to gain it all back in, say, 1 month, and in fact I think I can keep most of it off through November.  I do quite a lot of yardwork over the summer, and mowing the lawn weekly is already quite a workout.  It takes me 2 hours, and I have a simple push mower.  It's quite humid here and I sweat profusely from June-September.  My appetite is also much smaller, and I eat far more fresh fruit and vegetables.  My dessert habits change, as well.  I don't want as many cookies or cakes, but that may be offset by my ice cream intake.  I also have a habit of buying a mint Oreo Blizzard every time I pass a Dairy Queen.

 My short-term plan is to eat a lot of salads, and just smaller portions, in general.  Long-term, I will try to limit my dessert intakes and keep eating fresh stuff.  I have this paralyzing fear that I'll eat something unhealthy, like a chili dog, and then wake up the next morning and be back at 203 lbs. 

So far, I've been doing well.  It's Thursday, 3 days after the end, and I weighed in at 183.2 lbs, meaning that I've even gotten smaller, albeit not by much.  At this point, I've added bread, tomatoes, oranges, dairy, and sugar back into the diet.  I have not yet added red meat, corn, pasta or starch back in.  I was trying to stay away from sugar for as long as possible, but I saw these Polish chocolate wafers in our pantry that I bought in March and haven't eaten since my mission.  I justified it because it's less sweet than American candy, so how much sugar could be in there?  I ate the whole package like a wood chipper, crumbs flying off like sawdust.  My biggest craving is pizza - and we're having homemade pizza tomorrow night.

For those of you who asked about the logistics of the cleanse, the book is written by Dr Alejandro Junger.  It's pretty much this:

Smoothie in the AM
Proportioned meal for lunch
Juice in the PM

You can't have certain foods:
Tomatoes
Oranges
Corn
Potatoes/starches
Gluten (anything made from wheat or corn flour)
Sugar
Pasta (again, the gluten)
Dairy
Red meat
Other things which I'm forgetting

The principle is that these things, while most of them are healthy, take a long time to digest or have toxins, blah blah blah, I didn't read the book.  But it worked for Neil, so I figured it would work for me.  So I made Mel read the book since she reads like 20 books a week, and told her that she was in charge.  I ate what she told me to eat and she made everything for the first 2 weeks. Most of my meals were still pretty tasty, although they didn't have that "rich" taste that, as red-blooded Americans, we have come to know and love.  When I was able to indulge in "real" food again, I appreciated the taste that much more.

The book emphasizes how much better this diet will make you feel.  Since "feeling good" is subjective, it's hard for me to say.  I definitely felt better, some of the time, but other times I was pretty miserable.  Also, I changed a lot of other habits, like I woke up earlier, worked out, and went to bed earlier.  Did I feel better because of the working out and sleeping, or because of the diet?  Maybe a little from both columns.

Lessons Learned:
1.  I can sleep when I'm hungry
2.  Healthy food can be good, but it requires a different palate and significant seasoning
3.  Unsalted almonds are money for snacking
4.  Part of life's pleasures is in the food
5.  This was a very quick way to lose weight and I'm very glad I did it

Point 4 above is really coming into play now.  I'll see something that I want to eat, like ribs or brownies or whatever, and my first thought will be "I shouldn't".  But then, what kind of life do I want to live where I don't get to eat these foods?  If it means that I gain 20 lbs each year and I have to do a 3-week cleanse annually to maintain my weight, then so be it.  I'm not giving up my ribs and brownies!  Everything in moderation, of course.

Another motivation for this cleanse is that it's almost beach season.  When I was in college, I looked goooooooooood shirtless.  Maybe I was still pretty skinny, but I had 6-pack abs, a decent tan, and proportional guns.  When I worked out, my goal was to look goooooooood.  Now, my goal has totally changed--I'm trying not to look so disgusting.  I feel like I'm less disgusting, so that's a win right there.

Anyway, this was a good experience.  I lost weight, and now the tailored shirts I bought in Thailand fit, and I haven't worn them in 2 years.  I've gone down a belt loop.  My size 36 pants are almost too big.  I figure I'll have a skinny wardrobe for the summer and a fat wardrobe for the winter.  Right now, I'm planning to do this again next April.  If by some miracle I'm still hovering around 190-195, I may push it back a year.

Below are some before/after pictures for your viewing pleasure.

 Day 1. Look at that belly!



 Day 8 - Amazing how most of the belly disappeared so quickly



Day 22 - The belly looks the same (if not slightly bigger) as Day 8, but my neck and face are slightly skinnier

Thursday, April 18, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 18

185.2!

I've lost 18 lbs - meeting my original goal.  On Monday morning, I was 190.6, and in 3 days I've lost 5.4 lbs.  Now, I'm fully aware that I'm due for a lb gain or so--after all, I've never lost weight 3 days in a row.

But, it's still so durned EXCITING, that I've lost 18 lbs in 18 days.  My updated goal is 180, and just maybe I'll make it in 5 more days.

You may recall on Day 16 I mentioned how it wasn't even that difficult anymore.  Well, I lied.  The past couple days I've been tempted at every corner and desperately want pizza.  I think it's because my family is out, leaving me all alone with my hungry thoughts.  No distracting kids - no Hendrik begging to jump on the bed, no screaming Adelaide demanding food, no nagging wife to tell me to get off my butt and feed Adelaide and play with Hendrik.  Just kidding.  Melanie is not a nagger.  She just secretly seethes inside when I'm too lazy to take out the trash.  Serenity now!

I was supposed to make my lunch last night, but decided that I deserved to just get a salad at the local Cosi downstairs.  I'm not a salad guy (or at least I wasn't a salad guy), but I always loved their signature salad.  I thought all the ingredients in the salad were permitted by the cleanse except grapes, but I figured I could splurge and allow myself some naughty grapes.  However, after I took the salad back up to my office I noticed that there were bleu cheese crumbles in it...which are DEFINITELY NOT ALLOWED.  But I wasn't going to throw away a $7.99 salad, nor was I going to remove them one-by-one from a well-tossed salad.  So, I ate the entire thing - including every last crumble of cheese.  It was heavenly.

2 things I noted from this experience:  Salad fills me up more than it did before.  Maybe my stomach has shrunk a bit.  It also tasted 10 times better than the same exact salad before the cleanse.  Also, I didn't care that I was breaking the cleanse.  Maybe it's because I've reached my original goal.  Maybe it's because I'm sick of eating the same food every day.  Maybe I'm just not emotionally ready to give up my snacks and indulgences.  All in all, it's a bit ridiculous that I'm feeling this guilty over a SALAD just because it had grapes and bleu cheese crumbles.  In college, I would eat an entire row of Oreo's (with milk) for a meal and not feel one bit guilty about it.  Also, I could do 30 pull-ups (not chin-ups) without stopping.  Those were the days.

Anyway, I still fully intend on staying on the cleanse through the end of this week.  Sunday is supposed to be my last day.  If I'm down to 180, I'll stop.  If I'm at 182, I may continue.  But I miss having dinner.  It's nice to have food in my belly at night.  Also, I've noticed that I'm considerably colder all the time - less fat and calories to keep my body warm.  This is sometimes a benefit (in bed), and sometimes a disadvantage (walking to work when it's cold).  It will probably be a benefit most of the summer.  By the time it hits Thanksgiving, I'll be fat and warm again.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 16

It's weird to type in "Day 16", when there are only 21 days of the whole cleanse.  It felt like these 21 days would last an eternity when I first started.  Now it's day 16!

On Saturday, I weighed in at 189.6 lbs.  Finally, I had broken the 190 barrier!  However, on Sunday I was back up to 190.2, and then Monday 190.6.  So I gained a lb back.  Not sure how.  I was pretty depressed about the whole thing, but then this morning I came in at 188.8, which was almost 2 lbs smaller than Monday.  So that was nice to see.  If you're keeping score at home on a Fenway-replica scoreboard, which I'm sure you are, I lost 10 lbs the first week, and only 2.6 the next.  But the 3rd week, all 1 day of it, I've lost 1.8 lbs so I'm only .8 behind by 2nd week pace and 8.2 behind the first week.

My goal was originally 185 lbs.  After I lost 10 lbs the first week, I figured I could get to 180 lbs, giving myself a little leeway for the inevitable gain afterwards.  After last week's measly 2.6 lbs, I figured I could diet the rest of my life and make it to 180 lbs if I was lucky.  I also decided to keep doing the cleanse for an additional week, depending on how well this week goes. I'll probably keep doing it until it says "179.8" on the scale and then I'll go scarf down .2 lbs of chocolate.

Actually, I will probably do the cleanse next week anyway, but add the "forbidden" fruits and vegetables back to my diet, like tomatoes and oranges.  I can only drink so many beet/apple/cabbage juices.  I'll continue to abstain from pasta, bread, dairy, and sweets.  On May 1, we go on vacation, and then I will start adding everything back in.  I'll probably start small, like with 6 slices of cheesecake, and then work my way up to my usual diet.

The biggest thing about this cleanse is that I've learned how to be hungry.  Before, I'd feel a pang of hunger and go find a snack, as if I wouldn't survive the next 2 hours if I didn't satiate it right away.  Now that I only eat one meal a day and don't snack, I feel the hunger pains every so often - mostly in the hour or 2 before lunch and sometimes in the late evening or afternoon - but I just learn to ignore it and it goes away.  Which means my previous problem with having salads for lunch (being hungry after an hour or 2) is something I can cope with.  I hope to eat salads for lunch, but not every day, and then portioned dinners. 

I don't really like large dinners anyway, but there was always this pressure to eat as much as I possibly could to minimize leftovers/wastage.  So I was cramming all this food in and not enjoying it after a certain point. 

My point here is that a post-cleanse controlled diet is much more doable than I originally thought.  I just need to minimize the snacking, eat controlled portions, and think smarter about the ingredients.  Why do I always get cheese on my burgers?  I can barely even taste it.  Instead of a double-patty, I can probably just do one.

Friday, April 12, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 12

I gained .4 lbs yesterday, so now I'm at 191.4.  Even thought it's obviously not ideal to gain weight, I'm not too discouraged by this anymore, as I'm just pretty used to this diet now.  Fridays are tough because Friday is pizza day at the Hansen household, and I would love to get some pizza and sink my teeth into a nice, greasy, cheesy slice o' pizza.  I think pizza is the food I miss most.

Yesterday we had a big afternoon meeting at work and they brought in snacks, including soda, chips, and desserts from Panera.  They had these frosted brownies there that just looked incredible.  Also - no one was touching them.  I wanted to just grab 10 of them, eat 2, and then take the rest home for dinner.  The meeting was 90 minutes - I probably thought about those brownies for 89 of them.

The book about the cleanse says that your desire for the unhealthy foods will decrease.  I don't know if that's happened to me yet.  I'm not that unhealthy of an eater.  I don't eat that much fast food, I don't eat too big of portions, and I love fruits and vegetables.  My biggest weakness is desserts - homemade cookies, brownies, cakes, etc, are the best.  I make a big batch of cookies every few weeks at home.  I say it's for my family, but it's really just for me, and I guess they can have some if I don't wolf them down first.

Obviously, those habits will have to change if I'm going to keep the weight off.  However, it's nice to know that the cleanse isn't that bad, and I may make it a post-holiday tradition, because what kind of steel-hearted soul can deny themselves all the pies at Thanksgiving, cookies and treats at Christmas, and mounds of cookies on MLK Day?  Is that not a thing?

Monday's a holiday in MA.  It's called "Patriot's Day", similar I guess to Pioneer Day or other state holidays.  So I won't probably be writing again until next Tuesday, and maybe I'll be under 190 by then!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 11

Excuse the silence, the last couple of days have been pretty busy.  Also, fairly uneventful, especially because both Tuesday and Wednesday looked the same as Monday, scale-wise (193.2).  I was expecting the same this morning, but was motivated to see 191.0 on the scale, bringing the weight-loss total to 12.2 lbs!  Most people would say just 12 lbs, but I'm a Hansen, and I want credit for the extra .2.

Here's a funny story:  One of the keys to this program is being regular.  You know what I mean.  A big change in diet may tend to screw things up downstairs.  Neil recommended I buy a specific natural laxative if things weren't "flowing".  I first looked for it at CVS.  I went to one in downtown Boston during lunch.  This CVS is always crowded during lunch - people picking up snacks and other items for their workday afternoon. This day was no different.  After walking around for a while, an employee asked if I needed help.  I said, under my breath "laxatives". The response, in a booming voice, "OH THE LAXATIVES ARE OVER HERE".  As if that wasn't enough, the original employee couldn't find them, and asked another employee where the laxatives were.  "LAXATIVES?  DID YOU SAY LAXATIVES?  SIR, IS IT TRUE THAT YOU, AND NO ONE ELSE, ARE LOOKING FOR LAXATIVES?"  Let me repeat that this is among a large quantity of people.  The kicker is that they didn't even have the kind I was looking for, so I left.

Very much like this old Bloom County cartoon.

Anyway, I'm now officially past the halfway point, and that is pretty motivating.  I'd like to lose 12 more lbs and get to 179, but I'll settle for 179.2.  However, I realize it's likely that my weight gain will not be as much as thus far, so there's a chance I may extend the cleanse until I get under 180.

Monday, April 8, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 8

This weekend wasn't particularly hard except last night was my nightmare night.  Adelaide woke me up at 2:30 with her banshee screaming and I couldn't go back to sleep until 4:30, my stomach rumbling the whole time.  When 6:30 came, my usual wake-up time, I wasn't in the mood to get up, and thought I may skip my workout.  Then 6:45 came and I crawled out of bed and weighed myself:  193.2 - exactly 10 lbs smaller than my starting point of 203.2.

So I lost 10 lbs in one week!  I was very excited and hustled downstairs to workout.  I stopped to take a picture of myself, to compare belly sizes from last Monday.  It was amazing how noticeable it was - another motivating factor. 

Overall, the cleanse is not that bad.  Some of the organic smoothies and juices are surprisingly good, the biggest surprise are the beet-based juices.  I guess if you think about it, it's not that big of a surprise, since beets are full of natural sugars, after all, you have sugar beets.  But it sure makes my grunt look red and scary.  What?  You didn't want a description of my poop?

The worst part is getting past the snacking habits.  For example, after I put Hench in bed, I usually eat a bowl of ice cream or pop some corn while watching TV with Mel.  But, nope, can't do that.  Or I like to have sugary snacks in the afternoon.  Or munch on goodies while we play games with our friends.  Nope, nope, nope.  Just say "nope".

Mel has been the key here, the real hero.  She has been making all my meals, and I'm glad, because I tend to snack when I cook.  And just fetching the ingredients - going into the pantry to get the quinoa, you have to reach past the brownie mix, the Corn Nuts (my favorite salty snack), and the Chili Cheese Frito's I got for Christmas (we don't get Chili Cheese anything out here-I'm saving them for a special occasion).  But I don't have to deal with that, since Mel is cooking.  Saturday's lunch was amazing - this chicken/acorn squash/rutabaga taco salad with rice tortillas made into chips and the best guacamole ever as a topper.  I was stuffed and satisfied for the first time all week!

I've been impressed by these "clean" meals - some of them are quite delicious.  They are, however, quite time-consuming to make and the ingredients are expensive.  I wonder how much of it is that I'm starving so everything tastes amazing.  I made some Kraft Mac & Cheese for Hendrik on Friday and it looked delicious and I've hated that stuff since high school.  I don't like any of the "plastic" cheese products.  JoEllen's children tell me it's because I'm white.

However, Mel is leaving me next week, possibly for another man, but most likely just to see her parents.  So that means the final week might be quite tougher.  But maybe by then I'll be dead?

A special shout-out to Lorana for reading each one of these and leaving encouraging comments.  Thanks!

Friday, April 5, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 5

197.6 again.  No change.  At all.  Not even .2 lbs, which is the minimum incremental change on my scale.  So, not motivating.

However!  I feel pretty good.  Not really noticing the hunger pains, and lunch was filling, I didn't even eat every grain of rice like I've been doing.  (I know, Ma, Major Wastage)

Funny story:  I went to a meeting at 11, got out at noon.  I was thinking at the end of the meeting how I could possibly make it 'til 1 without eating.  Then I walked out of the room, and someone had pizza catered for whatever they were doing in the next room.  It smelled strongly of BBQ chicken - which I love on pizza - so strongly that my tongue started burning.  Seriously, burning.  Almost like my taste buds were trying to jump off of my tongue onto something fatty and, therefore, delicious.  I pictured them saying this to me:

"Kent, you've spoiled us for years.  Junk food, pizza, cookies, candy, ice cream.  What's happened?  We haven't got that for 5 days now!  If you're not going to do something about it, we're going to take matters into our own hands."  And that's when they tried to jump off my tongue.  I kept my mouth sealed tight!

I fled immediately.  You can't let your taste buds run your life.  Flee from temptation!

So I had my filling lunch and I'm feeling good.  The weekend will be tough.  I doubt I'll write - I don't like typing on weekends - so just now that I'm going to be spending conference listening intently to the talks and not eating snacks like I usually do.  Or I'll be napping, like I also usually do.  And just like you pretend not to do.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 4

Down to 197.6 lbs!  That's 2.2 less than yesterday.  Pretty motivating.

Today was much easier.  Yes, I was still hungry like usual before lunch, but the afternoon wasn't as difficult.  I can start to feel the effects of my body adjusting to this reduced diet.  Even eating a small lunch, I was more satisfied than I was at the beginning of the week, but the proportions were the same. 

I don't have that much to write about today, so I'm signing off.  If every day is this uneventful, you may not hear from me much.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 3

Yesterday was both a good day and a very, very difficult one.  It started out great, and the afternoon flew by.  However, I had a client dinner that night, and I had to sit around delicious food for the better part of 3 hours.  I was able to have an entree, but I couldn't touch the sides.

The other tough part was the fact that it was freezing, and one of the side-benefits of being a chunkster was that I was much warmer than when I was skinny.  Anyway, I was also underdressed, with a light jacket, and had to walk 20 minutes to the train and then bike home from the station against the brisk wind.  When I got home, I was pretty light-headed and went to bed immediately.

Today, I weighed 199.8 lbs, so only .4 less than yesterday, which is of course meaningless.  So no motivation there, except maybe some good feelings that I kept day 1's weight off.  I didn't do any exercise this morning, since I was so light-headed the day before.  I may try again tomorrow, but I'll feel it out.

A friend told me that "day 3 is the hardest".  My stomach's been rumbling all day, so it certainly hasn't been easy.  Mel keeps telling me that my stomach is supposed to shrink and that it will be easier.  I certainly hope so.  At this point, I feel like I'm just white-knuckling it, and that's not sustainable.

I liken this experience to going on a mission.  When you enter the MTC, you have these 2 years ahead of you, you have to master the gospel, the language, and live in a strange place.  It's all very overwhelming, and if you try to internalize it at once, you just freak out.  I remember lying in my bed that first evening, having left my family7 hours before, and wondering if I could do this 730 more times.  I felt this way again when I got to Poland, not understanding a word of the language, and wondered how I would ever do this.

To quote the immortal Wally from "Dilbert": "This job has taught me that I can get used to anything."  I also had that same realization on my mission, probably about halfway in.  You just start getting used to anything, and it's not that bad.  I certainly hope that's the case with this cleanse.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 2

I didn't think the first day was going to be nearly as rough as it was.  I ate lunch at 12 and at 1 I was ravenous.  The prospect of going the next 18 hours with just a glass of juice was daunting.  Was every day going to be like this?  Would I ever get used to it?

I got through it with a few "allowable" snacks - almonds.  I ate about 15 of them, drinking lots of water in between each one to help them go further.  It sort of worked for the afternoon, but by the time I got home at 7 I was starving and despondent.  The glass of juice helped - but not that much.  Melanie emphasized that I couldn't eat anything until the next morning to allow my body to clean out toxins or whatever, so I knew this was an important moment.  I was also exhausted - my body didn't have any calories to keep me going - so I went to bed at 9.  I was worried I'd wake up starving in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep, while starving the entire time.  This is my nightmare.

Instead, I slept well, got through Day 1, and now I'm feeling much better on Day 2.  One of the main reasons I feel better is because I weighed in at 200 lbs, 3 lbs down from yesterday.  Even though I realize that a 3 lb drop will not happen each day, and there's also a chance to go back up tomorrow, it certainly is motivating to know that yesterday's discomfort has paid off.  Now to do it 20 more times, lose 60 more pounds, and show up at the family reunion skinnier than Kurt.

Ha!  My actual goal is to get down to 185 lbs, the top of the range for the desired weight for my height.  It would be great to get down to 180, or even 175, but I don't want to lose much more than that - my new size 36 pants would be too large.  185 lbs would be a loss of 18 lbs, and I think that's realistic.  I also plan to control my snacking and my sweet tooth afterwards, so hopefully I don't just put the pounds right back on. 

Neil told me that when he did the cleanse, he was doing so well that he kept right on going, so I think he lost 50 lbs over 40-50 days, but I'll have to ask him.  I'll be ecstatic to lose 20 lbs in 21 days, and there's a chance that I may go a few extra days, but that's bit of a pipe dream right now. 

I have been exercising, but pretty minimally.  I'll do 10 minutes on the elliptical, and then my normal biking to the train stop and walk to work, but I'm keeping it very low impact.  I don't want to go overboard here, and focus first on my eating.

The biggest challenge of today is that I have a client dinner, so my main meal will be at 7.  That puts essentially 30 hours between eating actual solid food.  Also, I'll be in a restaurant, surrounded by delicious smells, and I'll have to order something tame.  For lunch, Mel made a disgusting-looking-but-delicious-tasting gazpacho.  It's sitting pretty well with me, and I'm going to try and not snack on almonds today.

Monday, April 1, 2013

21 Days of Cleanse: Day 1

I've always been skinny.  I was teased for many years, especially by my junior high gym teacher, for how skinny I was, and how I couldn't put on pounds if I tried.  Because of this, I felt no remorse for telling fat jokes or staring and pointing at the chunksters walking out of Tony Roma's, a place for ribs.  My dad, notoriously skinny when he was young, acquired a bit of a belly that his insensitive children poke and poke fun at.  I was too naive to realize that the very same thing would happen to me, so I kept making fun of Gary for his similarities to the same-named stuffed lion I owned.
I am no longer skinny.  Sure, I have chicken legs, but everything from waist-up is much larger than before.  I started packing on the pounds right around the time Hendrik was born.  I graduated college weighing 145 lbs, got married at 155, and had a kid around 165.  From then, I shot up to 195 by last spring, where it plateaued for the summer/fall (maybe all the work outside was keeping it steady?) and then I put on another 10 lbs over the winter.  So now I'm at 203 lbs.  Sure, it's not obese, but you should see my belly.  Size 34 pants used to fall off my waist without a tight belt, but now I can't even button them.  I graduated to size 36 pants last year, bought several pairs, and now they're getting tight.  Something must be done - I'm not buying more pants.

My eating habits aren't spectacular.  I've always loved eating candy and desserts, and of course love junk food and lots of cheese on everything.  One offset is that I do enjoy vegetables and fruit more than the average American, so I still eat quite a lot of that.  I also can't eat too much in one sitting, otherwise, I may be at 225 lbs by now. 

I have decided to do a cleanse.  Just the mention of the word "cleanse" makes me shudder, associating it with annoying, self-important women from rom-coms who dress like Sarah Jessica Parker, have personal assistants, and no time for love.  They're always eating some gyro in between helicopter and taxi rides, and then justifying the gyro by telling the Joan Cusack/sister-who's-married-with-small-children/kooky friend character that they'll just do a cleanse later that week and their personal trainer/dietician will arrange everything for them.

My personal stigmas about cleanses and other health-related trends were erased when my formerly hefty brother Neil showed up at last year's family gathering quite skinny.  He lost around 50 pounds in a very short amount of time, and it was because of a cleanse.  At the time, I was considering losing weight, but not very serious about it.  Then his wife Kristie put the cleanse rules in our family cookbook and I thought about it, but decided that it wasn't a good time to do it.  I didn't want to do it over the holidays or winter, as my appetite is always much bigger when it's cold.  So last month I decided that April 1 was going to be the start of the cleanse.  Why now?  Because Easter was yesterday, in April it starts to get warm, we aren't taking any trips, work isn't too busy, and I'll have more motivation to lose my PMS ("Pregnant Man Syndrome") with beach weather approaching.

Why am I telling you about this?  Because I figure the more people I tell, the more motivated I will be to make it the 21 days that the cleanse is supposed to take.  I've fasted before, and I'm not exactly great at it, so the more motivation I can have, the better. I'm going to try and blog about it frequently, if not daily. 

The key here is my terrific wife.  She read the entire book by Alejandro Junger, and now she's my dietician.  She came up with the meal plan, went shopping (it's not easy finding some of these weirdo ingredients), and got up at 5 AM (!) this morning to make my breakfast and lunch.  Amazing!  So far, I've only had 2 meals:  a pineapple/mango/coconut milk smoothie this morning, and lettuce wraps for lunch.  They were both delicious, especially the lettuce wraps.  Unfortunately, the portions are on the small side, so I'm going to have to get used to that.  The way this cleanse works is that you get a smoothie for breakfast, a portion-controlled meal for lunch, and then juice for dinner.

I hear the first week is the toughest.  I hope I can make it.