Christmas Letter 2007

In case you didn't get our Christmas letter, which you probably didn't because it got lost in the mail, not because we didn't send one to you:

1st Hansen Chapter 1

Kent falls in love with Mellif, they get married, move to Melrose and create a record. Why don't you just read it, it's only 16 verses long.

1. And it came to pass that in the 14th year in the reign of the Bushes there was a fine lass in the land, one which was called Mellif.
2. Yea, there was a tremendous uproar in the land about her, yea, because of her beauty, and, yea, because she was so awesome.
3. And it came to pass that in the land which was called Somervillihah there dwelled a man which was called Kent.
4. Kent dwelt in a tent.
5. And it came to pass that Kent did cast his eyes upon Mellif and did lust after her, yea, more than a friend.
6. And Mellif did look upon Kent and did have pity upon him, that she agreed to smooch him, yea, right smack dab on the lips.
7. And it came to pass that Kent did find that the smooch-a-roo was good, and it became delicious to him, and he desired that Mellif would spend eternity with him.
8. Mellif wept.
9. Yea, and there was a great celebration in the land and much revelry.
10. And it came to pass that they departed into the wilderness into a land called Melrose, which was north of the land called Malden, which was north of the land called Charlestown, which was north of the great land of Boston.
11. Yea, and it came to pass that they found joy in the fruits of their labours, as Kent was an IT Consultant, and Mellif was some sort of Budget Analyst at Tufts Dental School, which involves a good amount of dealing with stupid people, or so it seems from this person's perspective.
12. Wherefore, it was wisdom that they should keep a record, that future generations may learn from their trials and awesomeness.
13. And it came to pass that such a record was created from the dust of the earth, and this record was called "Mellificent Tales" and can be found at mellificenttales.blogspot.com.
14. And it came to pass that the blog was found to be very desirable and entertaining, definitely worth reading.
15. And it came to pass that Mellif and Kent remembered that it was Christmas time, and they remembered their friends and family and thought of them.
16. Wherefore, they also remembered the Savior, that He had been born to redeem all mankind, which is truly awesome.

The Day The TV Died

First, Congratulations to JoEllen and Mark for their brand new baby boy (yet to be named). We are glad Mommy and baby are both doing so well and despite what Kent says, we are super EXCITED to see some photos!

So I lied...I did make a New Year's Resolution. For this stupid Hollywood strike to end. I mean come on, NO one has a compromise by now? I can't even remember how long this ridiculous thing has been going on, but clearly the lesson to learn here is that the writers need better representation and the production companies need to just get over themselves. Seriously, how long do most other strikes last, maybe a month? The labor unions get right in there, break some necks, dust the dirt off and get out. I'm not saying I'm against fair pay and benefits, definitely not, I'm just saying, if someone doesn't get me some quality TV soon I'M going to be the one breaking necks.

To prove just how damaging this whole issue is...last Thursday Kent left me all alone while he played basketball with his boyfriends. I had a mountain (think Everest) of laundry to fold which I enjoy more when I can have some witty and humorous TV show going at the same time. Well, I flipped through the 1,000,000 channels currently available on cable and came up empty-handed. You know what I settled on? This:



I will admit that we have subscribed to a few reality TV shows, but now without all the prime time sitcoms and such even those are getting stretched a bit too thin. I guess in one of their brainstorming meetings someone working for ABC, CBS, NBC, etc thought the next best filler was hokey game shows. Have you noticed how many of those have now come out of the woodwork? That is, along with every pilot episode the networks have sitting in their archives. What is America coming to?

Here is the really sad part to all of this...I actually, sort of, enjoyed "Don't Forget the Lyrics." Before you all judge me, let me at least attempt to explain myself.

1. It's hosted by Wayne Brady. Maybe this doesn't help my case, but I think Wayne Brady is adorable AND he's funny. He was really the only reason I ever watched any episodes of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?," definitely not for Drew Carey.

2. These people are NUTS and they're not afraid to show it! These are all the people who live in karaoke bars just waiting for their big breaks. Though some of them are just plain crazy.

So, if you're like me and you're struggling to find some mindless entertainment after a long day of work, try this out. You get to experience the whole "karaoke scene" and you don't have to come home smelling like smoke. Or at least you'll get some laughs in...

To any writers, producers, network executives reading this post: Please, please, please come to a compromise soon. Otherwise the TV-starved American public will be taking to the streets...think French Revolution style!

It's like finding out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich

We went to a chick flick on Saturday night, "27 Dresses". Ever since I got married, I've realized that chick flicks are just something that comes with the wife package. I used to kick against the pricks and try to steer clear of them at all costs, but that's just a losing battle, and I decided that if I embraced them then my life would be much happier.

So that's what I did. Now we spend our Saturdays on the couch watching chick flicks on Lifetime or Oxygen or ABC Family or whatever she can find. Well, Mellif watches them and I play Civ IV next to her, but I still know more or less what's going on in the movie. It's really a win-win because I can play my game and she can watch her movies and we can still spend time together.

Since I've seen so many in the last year, I've figured out the Chick Flick Formula. I will now give you the synopsis of a typical chick flick:

Movie starts with the Main Chick (we'll call her MC), a pretty (but not hot) and likable chick, and she's running into her fast-paced, exciting job (usually a writer for some magazine), talking with her best friend--probably Joan Cusack or a Joan Cusack-type--about MC's lack of a dating life. Of course, MC has no time for love and barely believes in love because one or both of her beloved parents died and she had a serious boyfriend who dumped her two years ago at the altar and her heart has died.

Then we cut to the Main Dude (MD), who is your Prototypical Dude That Chicks Dig, like a McDreamy or a McConnanononaughy or a DeCappuccino. He is nice to his mother, has a dog, has a non-threatening friend and usually they play an awkward game of basketball bordering on homoerotic.

Eventually they meet. Of course, MD is instantly wild about MC, but she's not having any of it. She's a big fat huge jerkstore to him, but he is persistent and eventually she agrees to a date or whatever. On the date MD shows off his impressive wit and MC starts to be charmed by him.

This is when we see the "Love Montage", with a happy-go-lucky song in the background while the couple prances around town, goes sailing, has a picnic in the park, visits the elderly, and does all those romantic things that most of us plan to eventually do but don't because it requires WAY too much effort.

Soon after the Love Montage, we know that the relationship is headed for the "Trial of Love" because we're only an hour in and how are we gonna kill the next hour if they ride into the sunset now? The Trial of Love starts when either the chick or the dude finds out something about the other that is A COMPLETE DEAL-BREAKER, NO WAY ARE WE OVERCOMING THIS AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO YOUR EXPLANATION YOU BIG FAT STINKIN JERKSTORE AND I WILL NEVER ANSWER MY PHONE SO GO AHEAD AND LEAVE 5 BILLION MESSAGES WHILE I SIT NEXT TO THE ANSWERING MACHINE WITH A PATHETIC LOOK ON MY FACE.

This is my least favorite part about the Chick Flick Formula. Not so much that something goes wrong, but the fact that the injured party absolutely refuses to talk about it, it's just over and that's that. At this point, it's so cliche and stupid, I hate this part. Why can't one of them just "have their doubts" and break up with the other? That's what always happens in real life.

The only way to overcome the Trial of Love is through some super thoughtful gift or phrase that makes the injured party remember their dead mother and how she would just want her daughter to be happy. It still takes a while for this to kick in, usually not until Joan Cusack or the Joan Cusack-type talks some sense into her friend and that's when we come to the 2nd-to-the-last-scene, which I like to call The Running Scene.

This, in my opinion, is the most essential part of the Chick Flick Formula. We all know the Running Scene, the scene where one person is on their way to the airport, or they're at the altar, or they're just sitting at home but for some reason they're in a huge rush to go find the other person and confess their true love. And then make-out. I like to make the running motion while this scene takes place just to aggravate Mel.

The last scene is the feel-good wedding scene where all the likable characters throughout the movie show up, and it's always at some super beautiful place like the beach or next to a lake or on top of a mountain and everybody's super happy and everything's picture perfect. Even the Joan Cusack-type is showing interest in the non-threatening friend of MD. Sometimes it's not a wedding scene, but it's a get-together of some sort. Same diff.

4 other essential parts of the chick flick:

1. The Raunch Beast. Usually in love with MD. She wears too much make-up, acts like a spoiled brat, has a false sense of entitlement, and is very selfish in general. Every woman in the audience wants to slap her silly. Mellif gets a look of pure hatred during these parts that would make even Satan himself shudder. If I tell Mellif I think the Raunch Beast is pretty, she is insulted to the very core and won't talk to me. I've only made this mistake a couple of times. Now even if I do think she's pretty, I pretend she's not by pointing out some unimportant superficial flaw, like "her eyes are too far apart" or "her chin is too manly".
2. The Cringe Moment. This is when MC does something awfully embarrassing, usually trying to impress the man they love. Every woman in the theater tenses up and puts their hands close to their eyes just in case they have to look away.
3. It has to be tied to NYC in some way. I'm sick of every movie being in New York, it's getting old.
4. Me asking Mellif every 5 minutes during the movie, "Is it True Love yet?"

I think my absolute favorite part of the chick flick is right when the lights come on. All the chicks are standing up with HUGE smiles on their faces, ready to believe in love and attack the nearest male and shower them with affection. This makes sitting through them more tolerable.

With that said, I can't wait for "Definitely, Maybe" to come out in a month.

Not Just a Greeting Card Holiday

I have heard of this belief that Valentine's Day is a holiday that was created by a conglomerate of greeting card, chocolate, and flower companies just to steal money from all the men with women in their lives. Lucky for Kent that he was born on this special day of love (February 14th) and even luckier for him that I love him enough to celebrate just his birthday on this day. However, I am the luckiest of all because my husband loves me enough to still participate in this ridiculous holiday, in fact, I get to celebrate it on a day just for me.


Last year Valentine's Day fell on January 19th, and Kent sent me flowers at work and took me out to dinner and a show, Shear Madness. This year the special day came on January 12th. The morning started with a delicious breakfast-in-bed that Kent had prepared for me, french toast with all the sides in individual bowls. The plans for the evening were a surprise to me and all I knew was that I needed to dress up for the occasion. So I tried to spruce myself up as best I could and when I came out of the shower Kent was there with flowers and a CARD. A card, ladies! And on top of that he had even written a sentimental message! The cutest, that's my husband.










So I finished the glamour process and we headed out for the train to go downtown...to the Boston Symphony Orchestra. This is something I have been wanting to do since I moved to Boston {ahem} 6 1/2 years ago so I was very excited that Kent had picked this for me. He is in fact quite thoughtful, don't let the eyebrows fool you. The BSO's program for the evening included Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor and An Alpine Symphony by Strauss. The BSO is housed in this beautifully old ornate concert hall that was first built in the early 1900s. I have experienced plenty of old buildings during my time here in Boston and it still amazes me that something built so long ago can still stand up to its original purpose. The music was absolutely fabulous AND I got to sit next to this really sharp-looking hot guy the whole time.















So here's to the men who love their wives/girlfriends enough to spend money on a "fake" holiday just to say "I Love You."

Dla Anii, moja droga pryjaciolka

Today is a very good day. A VERY good day.

Why?

Because I get to add another baptism to my mission total. You know, every time somebody asks me where I went on my mission, I say "Poland", and the next thing they usually ask is "Was it a hard mission." I say, "Yes" and then they ask how many baptisms I had. I say 1, and that person is Bozena Zaleska, a very wonderful lady who I have no contact with anymore, although I do get emails from her son every Christmas and Easter. Her son has a website that is focused on his "partner" and his daughter with a link to lds.org that is labeled "My Church". I don't count him in my baptism total because I only met him once and the missionaries after me did most of the work. I did send him an email the other day asking about him and his mother, but no reply thus far.

The person I get to add to my total is one of my favorite Poles ever, if not my most favoritest. Her name is Ania and we met her at our weekly service, a place for mentally handicapped kids in Katowice, which is in southern Poland. She was about our age so we kind of stayed away from her, you know, mission rules and all, but she kept asking us about our church and mission, so we referred her and her friend to the sisters. They taught them and Ania was very excited about it. She read the entire Book of Mormon within a matter of a couple months and I vaguely remember her coming to church a couple of times. The sisters had a firm date with her, but her mom was so vehemently opposed that she had a hard time coming to church and just couldn't get baptized.

As it happens with so many investigators, missionaries just give up if they don't see a baptism in the immediate future. I still called her every couple of weeks to invite her to activities, which she always came to, and we always had long, sincere conversations about the gospel.

Of course, there was also the concern that she was interested in the handsome missionaries and not very sincere about the gospel. I would say that any good missionary can tell whether somebody is really sincere, deep in their heart. I also think the Spirit can manifest this, as well. I always thought she was extremely sincere about it, and whether or not she was interested in any particular missionary wasn't going to affect her search for truth.

I got transferred to a different area after 4 months in Katowice, but this area was close enough to Katowice that we still went down there every few weeks. I remember I hadn't spoken with Ania for a few weeks and then I got a call from her one day, and she was super excited. I don't remember the specifics, but it went something like this:

Ania: I know the Book of Mormon is true! (She had been struggling with getting a confirmation that the Book of Mormon was true for a very long time, and she was getting a bit frustrated with Moroni's promise. Most of our conversations we had were around this.)
Kent: That's great! How did it happen?
Ania: Well, I was getting really tired of never getting an answer about it, so one day I just kept praying and praying until God would give me an answer. Finally I got told to open the Bible to a random page, and I would know based on what that page says. Well, I opened it to Ezekial, where it talks about the two sticks, and I never heard of those scriptures before, and I knew it was true!

I don't know if this is exactly what happened, but it was similar to this. Ania can confirm/deny this if she ever reads this. Anyway, I thought that was great. Unfortunately, Ania could not get baptized, although she so badly wanted to.

Time passed and we always stayed in contact. I went home, came back to Poland a year later and visited her there, and she still had the desire to be baptized, but her mom was still against it. Her mom, for the record, was very very nice to us, but she just thought that being anything other than a Catholic was very unPolish.

Eventually, I became very lazy with my email contact and heard from her less and less. A couple of years ago she moved to England and mentioned she may be getting baptized, but I had heard that so many times before.

On Tuesday, I wrote her a small email, asking her if she still used her address and to write back. I got back an immediate response. In the last 2 years since I heard from her, she:
1. Got baptized
2. Got married
3. Had twins
4. Will be getting sealed in the temple in a month!

So I'm really excited to not only hear from her but also find out that her life is going so well! Ania is one of the few friends that I am closest to, and hearing all that from her has really made me sincerely happy. I'm glad that she never gave up in her quest to be baptized and to never reject what she knew to be true. She is truly an example to me and the rest of us.

Here is a picture of her and her family I found on her website, I hope she forgives me for posting it (as well as this entire post!), but they look so happy:

Kindergarten Kent

I was thinking today about how in kindergarten I and my friends had a fascination with seeing the underwear of every girl in my class. This was the train of thought that triggered this remote memory:

1. Thinking of stuff to blog about
2. Young romances are always entertaining/funny
3. Girls I liked in junior high/elementary
4. First one I liked was Anne Tyson, in kindergarten
5. I saw her underwear once
6. Why are boys fascinated with the sight of underwear?
7. I should blog about this, RIGHT NOW, before I forget

I was in the afternoon class, with Mrs. Adams. Mrs Adams was ridiculously nice, as every kindergarten teacher is (Miss Levine in 1st grade was a rude awakening). This was my first experience with a bunch of kids my age, and a whole new bunch of girls.

There was the bully, too. This chubbster named Andy Sheldon who thought he would muscle his way to all the quality construction paper and the best scissors. Of course, the scissors that skinny, young Kent would end up with were those kind that is so dull that I might as well use the "karate-chop" motion of the side of my hand. Also, I never got the whole pieces of construction paper, only the remains that already were cut-up/mangles. Because of this, my hand-turkeys were usually one finger short of a fist.

I wasn't a glue eater, more of a marker sniffer. Especially the permanent markers, those were delicious. Remember when the flavored markers came out and they actually smelled like apples and oranges? Greatest invention EVER.

I was usually the main boy being chased in "Girls Chase Boys", probably because I was so dagnabbed cute. I wasn't a fan of "Boys Chase Girls" because the girls were so easy to catch, it's like they weren't even trying.

I'm not sure how long it took me to notice Anne Tyson, but when I did, I was smitten. She was the cutest girl in the world. I noticed she lived right across the street from the school, so she had a really nice commute.

As much as I probably stared at Anne, her underwear was the most elusive to see. Some girls hiked up their underpants so high that there was a good 2 inches of underwear visibility between their shirt and their pants. The best time for underwear sightings was during story time, which was frequently on the carpet, sitting Indian-style. Once we sat down, we would take a survey of all the girls' waistlines, looking for the tale tell stripe of white that frequently denoted UNDERWEAR. Once this was spotted, the spotter would relay the good news through the congregation of boys sitting on the back row for maximum underwear viewing. Once it was confirmed, we would check the girl off of the "Underwear sighting list".

It took almost the whole year to see Anne's unmentionables, and she was the last on my list. She was always well put-together, her pants cinched up the appropriate height, her shirt down to the pants, and the underwear well-covered. Then one day, it happened: they were pulled up just a smidgen too high, and I saw a good 1/16th of an inch. My list was complete.

The next year I moved on to the 1st grade, where I realized that underwear, while still funny, was not as hilarious as it once was. I had matured. Although I do recall when Hillary Lewis's dress was caught in the fence next to the baseball field, and ALL of her underwear was on display. A crowd of at least 20 boys had gathered around, none helping to get her out, everybody just staring in delight. She just sat there, crying and crying. It took about 15 minutes before The Duty came and saved her.

Calling All Cars...

Has anyone seen my husband? I lost him somewhere around Christmas and this crazy-looking bearded guy has been following me around ever since. It's weird. He's weird. If you see Kent tell him to come home...his wife is waiting.
Of course, Kent won't be home until Friday night because he ditched me to go to some "training" thing for work. I was okay with it when I pictured him crammed into an uncomfortable hotel room, sharing a twin bed with five of the geekiest computer geeks PWC managed to uncover. Now that I know he has a room all to himself with a day filled with truly motivational speaking, complete with pay-per-view movies, I'm thinking it sounds a lot like a vacation away from his heart-broken wife. You should be ashamed of yourself Kent, truly ashamed.

However, I figured I would make good use of all this free and quiet time to stage a blog comeback and regain some ownership of this little slice of the interwebs, which, for the record, was created by the one and only Mellificent herself...ME. I do realize that I can never be quite as witty and entertaining as Kent as I just don't have that same ability to grow facial hair and pretend mullets are cool. And let it be written, Mullets are NOT cool on any level, not one. So now I accept my fate as the lowly Kent factual updater. This means that while Kent can be "colorful" and write posts around any subject he chooses, I will grant the wide wide world the pleasure of a glimpse into our exciting lives in the fast lane.

We were in bed at midnight on New Year's Eve. Granted we were still awake, but in bed nonetheless. We actually spent the 2 1/2 hours prior to the stroke of midnight wandering around downtown Boston trying to feel "festive." The original plan was to go downtown to revel in the revelries and then make our way to the water's edge for a fantastic firework display. We began the evening with a little swing-dancing instruction where Kent proved he did in fact have a right and a left foot. I tried to con him into dance lessons before the wedding and he wouldn't have any of it but I think he may have been bitten by the jitter-bug. Hey, corny jokes are still jokes.

Following our warm-up we headed out to the streets and took a lovely evening stroll down Boylston Street with all the other party-goers. I think whoever discovered the method to mass producing plastic horns should be cruelly and unusually punished. I thought that horrible noise would be less horrible outside, but I was quickly set straight. Despite the obnoxious noise makers we were able to enjoy the ice sculptures in Copley Square and continued on toward Boston Common. Instead of grazing cattle, the Common is now home to all the public parties Boston has to offer, so I guess you can say it's still used for grazing cattle. Kent complains that I never "offer" to take pictures of him, but why bother when he refuses to smile and look charming?

No walk-around-Boston is complete without a stop at Faneuil Hall. When we took these photos we had already decided that we would risk missing out on the fireworks in order to miss the large crowds on the T-ride home. If you look closely you can see the throngs moving towards the harbor to scout out their seats. So we enjoyed a quiet, and mostly empty train ride home, followed by Kent challenging me to a race home (silly Kent, he should know better), not to mention we still made it home in time to watch Dick Clark struggle through 3 sentences. I think it's time to let that poor man drift gracefully from the spotlight.

I do hope you all enjoyed the holidays as much as we did. And I wish you good luck with your resolutions. I made a resolution years ago never to make resolutions and I must say, I've never been more successful at anything.

Lowest of the Brows

Mel's been feeling a bit sad lately because nobody has been leaving comments on her posts, so let's everybody go find 3 of her blogs and write 23 words of quality comment because you're 23 years old.

I work in downtown Boston, in the financial district. Between the hours of 8AM to 6PM Monday through Friday there is quite the hustle and bustle here, with suits zigging and zagging all over the place. Outside of those hours, however, it is quite a ghost town. That means there are several lunch-only cafes around my building that offer various foods at various prices. The cheapest place is Subway, and the most expensive one is a place I like to call Sebastian's, possibly because it has a sign in front of it that reads "Sebastian's".

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay..............I never go to Sebastian's because it is overpriced and that's where all the people who like to spend way too much on lunch go for their overpriced salads consisting of lawnmower-feedbag-type stuff. HOWEVER, I received a gift-certif from helping out with the United Way campaign at work for Sebastian's, so now I had an incentive to buy an overpriced sandwich.

We always get tricked into thinking that just because something is more expensive, it must be better. Now I will go ahead and qualify that statement by saying that OF COURSE some things are better, that's why they cost more! But for 2 comparable items: Sandwich A at lunch cafe B compared against sandwich C and lunch cafe D. Let's say both sandwiches are called "The Italiano Greaser" and they contain the standard meats you would find in Italian sandwiches, like salami, pastrami, mamamio, etc. But one costs 4 bucks and the other costs 8! Well, you would think that for twice the price it will be twice as nice, but not so! It wasn't even half as nice, in fact, I was choking it down, not enjoying it in the least bit. I would say it was 23% as nice.

Which caused me to realize that:

1. I generally don't really like the meals I get at expensive restaurants
2. I would rather have a no-nonsense BLT than a tons-of-nonsense craptastic sandwich.
3. The meals I get at expensive restaurants are usually very small and leave me hungry

Here are some cases when I was thoroughly disappointed with expensive cafes/restaurants, and wished I could've just had a Whopper (GET ME A WHOPPER!):
1. Senior Prom, 1998--Took Hillstance to the Homestead in Midway, Utah. Paid 40 bucks a plate for some weird pasta dish. Ate some of it, thought it was gross. Dismissed it to my lack of experience in the gourmet world.
2. Finale, 2005--Went with Jamie to this dessert place in Cambridge, Mass, only to find that these "gourmet" desserts were AT LEAST 10 bucks a pop and about the size of a silver dollar. I will admit that it was delicious, but I can't justify paying 10 bucks, plus tip, for any food of that size. Except maybe steak.
3. National MathCounts banquet, Warshington DC, 1994--They gave us some super gourmet chicken that was tiny, and I scarfed it down in 4.23 seconds, and I was starving the rest of the night. That sucks for a 14 year old kid with almost no cash in his wallet and nowhere to buy food within walking distance. My only option was to gnaw Jared Raggozine's (nerdiest kid of ALL TIME-he'll probably find this because he probably googles himself) ear off.
4. Sebastian's, 2 days ago
5. Pretty much every restaurant we go to for a work dinner, with a few exceptions. Have you ever noticed how people talk about those expensive restaurants like it was a vacation? "On Friday, we went to The Gargoyled Olive, it was so fun! Everybody cool was there, and we could totally afford it."

Anyway, the point of this whole post is to admit that when it comes to food, I am happily LOW BROW. When given the option to go to Chili's, Applebee's, Friday's, or one of the other "corporate" dives or to some 60 dollar-a-plate white table cloth snoot-a-thon restaurant, I will ALWAYS choose Chili's, because the Molten Chocolate Cake is so durned delicious. Even if I'm not paying.

I like the classics. I like mashed potatoes and gravola, I like steak, I like fried chicken, I like corn on the cob, I like burgers and fries, I like tacos and burritos. Just stick to the hits, man. Stick to the hits.

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

So this is the time of year that everybody does New Year's Resolutions and all that crap. I am not really anti-resolution, per se, but resolutions imply change, and any change I would make would be a change for the worse, as I am already perfect. So my resolution is to maintain the status quo.

A good answer for the annually irritating question of "What are you going to do this year?" would be: "Whatever I feel like doing, GOSH!!" This question ranks up there next to "How's the married life?" and "How are you adjusting (to the post-mission life)?" in top irritating questions. Since my blog is becoming a top 10 ranking blog (similar to the movie "High Fidelity"), I may as well rank them. Here they are, the most irritating questions that you get way too much, and the standard answer I use:

1. How's the married life? A: Huge upgrade.
2. How are you adjusting? A: Horribly. (I realize that this is a pretty bad canned answer, I'm open to suggestchs)
3. What are you going to do next year? A: Whatever I feel like doing, GOSH!!
4. Don't Mormons have lots of wives? A: No, not really, I've only got 5.
5. Will you marry me? A: Maybe if you lose a few pounds.

Those are the only irritating questions that I get on a regular basis that I can think of right now. Please send me your other common irritating questions.

Anyway, 2007 was a pretty good year for me. Although I did not leave the country once (even including Canada!), it was probably my best year ever. See below.

January: Said "I love you" finally to Mellificent, even though we'd be dating for more than a year. Also, the Colts won the Super Bowl.


















February: Turned 27. Another year without dying.









March: Popped the Big Q. The answer: A hesitant "Yes".
April: Went to St. Louis to visit Gertsch and see Albert be awesome.












May: Went up to Lake Winnipesaukee for a day, 'twas awesome.








June: Tied the knot with beautiful Mellificent. Went on honeymoon to Florida.
July: Moved into brand new place, which was a huge step up from my last place, with underground parking, washer, dryer, dishwasher, central air, and garbage disposal. These are NOT standard by any means in the Boston area.
September: Bought an almost-new car, nicest we've ever had.
October: Celebrated Mellif's sweet 16 by going up to Vermont and stuff.
November: Mellif's 'rents visited over Thanksgiving.
December: Had Christmas and saw almost all Hansens, except Kurt and Al. Received a PSP, which is pretty dagnabbed awesome. Now I can play NBA Live 2008 on the train to and fro work.