Lame, Lame, and Lamer Still

I remember watching the first season of The Bachelor with my college roommate, Lauren, trying to determine what it was all about and if it was worth running home from my evening class to catch (this was before DVR). The concept was interesting: one very desirable bachelor looking to select the love of his life from 25 eager bachelorettes. I'm not really big on the reality TV that stages the drama, but that many females all residing in one house fighting for the same man's affection has a high potential for "interesting" conversations. It has yet to let me down.

The new season of the show will be starting shortly, starring a lovely young man hailing from London, England - he LOVES American women. Although in the preview they show him crossing a London street wearing an expensive-looking suit in his BARE FEET. What is that supposed to represent? What does that mean? Is there symbolism here I'm missing? Kent thinks he'll be pretty funny to watch though, but he told me I'll probably need to do a lot of translating as he has a hard time understanding the Brits. It is a common misconception that the British speak the same language we do. Before they showed us this little "Sneak Peek" into the new season, they recapped all of the Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons to date. This was really the purpose of this episode. It was pretty hilarious to relive all the little moments, all the crazy chicks, all the over-confident, self-indulgent men. Good times. I hope this next comment doesn't come off as betrayal to members of my sex, but I have to admit that one of my favorite parts of this show is watching the women who are "closet crazies" slowly unravel and completely lose it on national TV. One of my favorites is from this last season, where Hillary was totally clueless about how her relationship with Brad was developing. In all of his confessionals he kept saying how he kept getting more of the "Friend/Sister" vibe when he spent time with her, and in her confessionals she would talk about how deeply and madly she was falling in love with him. It got to the point where he would actually say it to her face, but she would still come out swearing that the chemistry between them kept getting stronger. {Psycho!} So the inevitable rose ceremony comes along (her dressed in white to inspire the wedding thoughts in him) where he doesn't pick her. What!?! How could he not pick Hillary?!? He was so clearly in love with her! In fact, it catches her by such surprise, that she starts to have a serious breakdown. Hyperventilating, mascara and eyeliner streaming down her face, the "Why Me?", she even went as far as saying, "I just wanted to make my Daddy proud." By going on a reality TV show to find the man of your dreams? I think I can speak for my Dad when I say that is the last way to invoke pride in a father. Words just do not do this scene justice but I've been having trouble finding a video clip. If you have some free time you can watch the full "Where Are They Now" episode on abc.com.

Near the end of this episode they show all these ratings from all the Bachelor seasons, i.e. Most Dramatic Moment, Most Romantic Moment, etc etc. I don't know who they poll for these ratings, but if this is really what America chose, do as all major organizations do and fudge the results. For Most Dramatic Moment they picked the scene where at the end of a date with 2 of the girls he picks one and then the two of them climb in the helicopter and hover off, leaving the rejected woman watching them from the heli-pad. Okay, major burn I will grant you that, but Most Dramatic Moment, out of all the seasons of the show? I think not.

And here's the part that really bothered me: Best Bachelor. You know who they picked for that one? Lame Lt. Andy Baldwin. Seriously, look at his picture - What a Goober. This man was a total robot. Total Robot. He was always awkward, obviously spouting canned lines, I mean, you could practically see his eyes following the teleprompter. I have nothing against military men so don't think it's that, this guy was just lame. L-A-M-E. Granted, most of these guys end up lame by the end of the season, but he was the WORST. You know who I would have voted for: Bob. Bob was the cutest, most sincere Bachelor I've seen on the show. You just can't help but love him. He's adorable. If Hillary had her meltdown after losing him, I would understand. But alas, the networks no longer ask for my opinion on these things, which is probably what led to that whole writer's strike to begin with.

This post is mostly dedicated to my loving husband, Kent. Not because he's my bachelor and the love of my life, but because he subscribes to shows and movies just because he loves how angry I get at the stupid people. In fact, he watched a movie on TV while home sick one day, and DVR'd it because he thought it would be a good one to "rile me up." I'm not kidding, that's a direct quote. If you don't believe me, refer to his Chick Flick post here.