14 Days of Kent: Day 14

When I was younger, somehow I found out that my parents had written letters to each other during a period of time that they had to be apart. Some of those letters were original poems my dad had written for my mom. My Dad will probably hate that I'm sharing this, but seriously, how romantic is that? 

So Kent, all the posts from the last 13 days have been my love letters to you. I wanted to attempt to show you just how much you mean to me and how grateful I am that you chose me. Hopefully you've gotten a little bit of that. It's kind of hard to accurately express a love that fills you up so completely, but I’ve tried and I’ll keep trying. I couldn’t be happier to be married to you!

I’m so blessed to have a husband that genuinely wants to make me happy and give me all the things I want. I’m glad that we have so much in common and can relate to each other in an infinite number of ways. I’m grateful that we can have fun doing anything together, even if it’s doing nothing.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the things I’ve written about you, but it has really been good for me. It’s helped me take some time to focus and define some of the things that I really love about you. It’s helped me remember why I’m so happy and how grateful I am to have you as my husband. You have given me so much in this life: love, home, children, just to name a few, and so many of those we’ll be able to keep for eternity.

Thank you for sharing your life with me. You make me laugh, even if it’s at myself.

Thank you for helping me relax and enjoy life, including taking time to appreciate sunsets.

Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful on the days that I look my worst.

Thank you for giving me my two beautiful children and for being an active participant in their lives.

Thank you for wanting to surprise me, even when it doesn’t work out the way you planned.

Thank you for not giving up on me and helping me to be a better person.

Thank you for learning to be a better “girlfriend” and just listening to me rant instead of offering up a solution.

Thank you for being my best friend, lover, and role model. I LOVE YOU KENT!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It’s exciting to think I’ll get to spend the next 33 birthdays with you.   

This is how I knew I could have babies with you - ADORABLE!

Your first birthday as a husband

Your first birthday as a father

14 Days of Kent: Day 13

I do think being born on Valentine’s Day has made a mark on Kent. This may surprise a few people, but Kent is really romantic. And thoughtful. And creative in his thoughtfulness.

If you know me, you know I love chick flicks. I love romantic, true love stories, and happy endings. Everyone deserves a happy ending, don’t you think? There is so much sadness in the world I don’t need to watch a show/movie or read a book about that! I can watch the news. For my entertainment I like a good, happy, perhaps a bit cheesy love story. I just never thought in a million years I would get that in my marriage. I kind of feel like I don’t deserve it, but Kent gives it to me anyway.

Case 1: In 2007, we planned to celebrate Kent’s birthday on 2/14, like the previous year, and I did not want nor expect anything for me. I was surprised in mid-January when I received flowers at work from Kent with a note that we were celebrating Mellintine’s Day! He took me to a show and made me feel very loved and special. I mean, does anyone else get a special holiday just for them? That tradition has continued each year, although we usually celebrate it in March instead.

Case 2: THE Proposal. (You can find more detail in this blog post.) Kent decided he really wanted to surprise me, so he purposely avoided discussing marriage with me, and I wasn’t going to bring it up since things were finally going smoothly in our relationship. The week of he told me he had to work late most nights, which was believable since it was his busy season. So I really didn’t see him much that week, but that Friday I received two dozen red roses at work with a note that said we were going to do a scavenger hunt after work. I really wasn’t sure if he was serious or not, especially considering they were forecasting a pretty heavy snowstorm that night. Turns out he really had planned a scavenger hunt for me, taking me through our dating history and landmarks throughout Boston that meant something to us. I trudged through inches of snow all over Boston and had a blast. At one point I did think maybe this was a bit much for just a date night, but convinced myself it wasn’t a proposal because, hello, we hadn’t discussed it! This is why you shouldn’t second guess yourself…It all ended outside of the courthouse, next to the water, which normally would have been a beautiful view if not for the white-out conditions. When he got down on one knee I honestly couldn’t believe it! Literally, my brain stopped functioning, so unfortunately Kent didn’t get the reaction he was hoping for. I mean, I said “Yes” of course, but he was expecting some tears, maybe more visible excitement, but well, you can’t truly surprise me if you want a real reaction. I do feel horrible considering it was one of the most romantic gestures I’ve ever experienced. I honestly never thought I would get a proposal like that. I had decided that I would probably get proposed to while we were sitting on the couch watching TV. Fortunately I was very, very wrong.

Can you even stand all the cuteness in this picture?

Case 3: Christmas 2010. I think Kent tries to out-do his presents each year from the previous year. We’re getting into dangerous territory folks, mostly because it makes me feel like I have to top him. I’m pretty sure at this point Kent is getting a new car next year. Just kidding, that’s crazy! But everything else about the gift giving is true.  So, Christmas 2010, I’m opening my gifts from Kent, and there is definitely a pattern: one “normal” gift item, like a sweater, and a more random item, like dried pineapple. At first I just thought it was Kent being Kent (he does random things sometimes), but then he asked, “Are you noticing a pattern?” So I took stock of the random items: tropical flavored gum, dried pineapple, coconut. “Uh, are you making a pina colada?” Then he handed me an envelope and inside I found a brochure about a Hawaiian resort. A week in Hawaii! Awesome all on its own, but he knew that I had yet to go on a real tropical vacation (my cruise to the Bahamas is its own post). By the way, sans Hendrik. This was also another instance where he surprised me and I did not show the expected amount of excitement. It’s kind of cute that he keeps trying to surprise me anyway, right?

Kent takes some really beautiful photos too...

All of those are BIG romantic moments, but he romances me in little ways every day. For instance, he manages our Netflix queue (and I do mean manages) and he adds chick flicks on there for me just because he knows I love them. AND he watches them with me once they arrive. Okay, sort of watches while he plays Civ. He finds songs that make him think of me or us and tells me about it. He holds my hand when we’re in the car or walking around somewhere. He opens doors for me, when I give him the chance. 

On Mother’s Day and my birthday he makes me breakfast, often in bed, a special dinner, and actually bakes a birthday cake for me. He even drew me a card the Mother’s Day I was pregnant with Hendrik. He makes note of things I like, but don’t buy, and gets them for me for birthdays and Christmas. HE PAYS ATTENTION. He also started the tradition that we spend our Anniversary night away from home. This is an important tradition I think everyone should do. Don’t shrug off your anniversary because you’re too busy. This is the day your family began! Honor it and each other!

I have always loved romantic stories and gestures but never expected to have them myself. I am so grateful to be spoiled by a husband who loves me so much. I’m seriously trying to play catch up with this “14 Days of Kent” and I will still fall drastically short.

14 Days of Kent: Day 12

As I have gotten older I have really started to perfect being lazy. You would think that would be impossible now that I have two kids, but somehow I manage it. Basically any second that I’m not doing something for the kids, I try to loaf about. Kent, on the other hand, is not very good at being lazy. He may have some lazy Saturday mornings where he gets in some good Civ time, but it doesn’t last too long. Some days it makes me a little crazy, but most days I really appreciate that he works so hard.

I think this is a trait he gets from his mother. Kent has often commented how hard his mother works and how amazed he is by how much she does. I find it interesting that he doesn’t notice the same characteristic in himself. Perhaps because he may throw out a complaint here or there he discounts just how hard he really does work.

It often amazes me how much energy Kent seems to have while working. When we first moved into our house four years ago, the back yard needed some serious work. We decided to rototill it ourselves, piece of cake, right? Yeah…not so much. We forgot that this is New England and we grow rocks here not to mention our contractor had decided to bury a pile of trash and the remnants of an old horse barn back there. It took FOREVER to till through the ground and get it ready for grass seed. Honestly, my arms still ache from dragging and pushing that rototiller through the yard. 

Kent tries to find new projects for himself all the time. He chooses not to have a riding mower because he “needs the exercise.” He hauls mulch and compost, plants a wide variety of plants, laid a brick path, built garden boxes, and much more. And that’s only in the yard! The crazy thing is he’s always happiest when he has a project. I’m a little worried that he’s going to run out of improvement projects and I’m going to come home one day and he’ll have gutted our master bath. Actually, I take that back, I’m fine if he does that. Are you reading this Kent?

Inside the house he does laundry, dishes, mops the kitchen floor, and cleans up the basement. On top of that he works about 50-60 hours per week for his job. I’m really grateful that Kent works so hard outside of the home because it has now allowed me to stay at home with our kids. What a gift that is! It might not be his “dream job,” whatever that is, but he knows it is something he does well at and can succeed in. And he doesn’t stop there. Somewhere he finds just enough energy to come home and rough house with Hendrik, which is something only the two of them do. Mommy is not a rough houser, mommy is a snuggler and a story reader.

I really appreciate Kent’s hard working example because it encourages me to be better. I think he even knows that if he gets up and starts cleaning or doing the dishes it prompts me to do the same. Maybe a bit of a guilty conscience, but whatever works, right? I’m grateful that he works so hard and so tirelessly for our family and I really love him for it.

Teaching Hendrik the importance of watering

The boulder we encountered while digging a hole for the apple tree

14 Days of Kent: Day 11

This may surprise a few people, but Kent is a man. That's right, a man, and I love that about him. Sure, that may mean that I have to deal with a few more unsavory noises and smells, but in the end it's all worth it. As the man of the house, Kent gets assigned some pretty dirty jobs, but he takes it all in stride. 

For instance, Kent is the resident bug-crusher/remover. I like to think I'm fairly brave, but there is something about the unblinking stare of a spider or other gross insect that really creeps me out. So if I walk into the bathroom or down in the basement and am greeted by something nasty, I just yell for Kent and he comes to take care of it for me. He may laugh a little at me while he does it, but if I don't have to get close to touching it, he can laugh all he wants. That is one of the setbacks of staying at home now, if I encounter something creepy-crawly during the day, Kent isn't here to save me...And don't get me started on snakes in the garden...{shiver}

Kent also comes to my rescue for other "yucky" incidents, like floaters in the bathtub. It's unfortunate, but it happens. It hasn't happened recently, but in the past I would be letting Hendrik play in the tub when all of a sudden he would get much too quiet. You know that quiet where every parent hears clanging alarm bells in their head? When I looked over to check on him, there it was...seriously gross. So I would snatch Hendrik out of the tub and call for Kent: "Kent, I need help!" And within a minute he would be upstairs taking care of the problem for me. I'm serious, the man deserves a reward.

He is also the one that is brave enough to check out strange noises in the middle of the night. Or if I wake up from a bad dream, I just inch closer to his side of the bed and I immediately feel safer. He fixes things. He builds things. He takes out the trash. He shovels the snow (a lot of it recently). He does the majority of heavy lifting. We have this pretty awesome arrangement where he carries all the laundry down to the basement, washes it, and brings it back up for me to fold. Once folded, I shove the basket to the bottom of the stairs and he carries it back up. I think this originally started when I was pregnant with Hendrik, but I'm really grateful he still does it on a regular basis.

And Kent is not "too manly" to do more of the domestic chores around the house. He cooks a number of meals and is really great at making waffles, which I love. He certainly makes work in the kitchen more fun and is SO much better at getting Hendrik involved than I am. He's not worried about making a mess, or a measurement not being quite right, and Hendrik has a blast. Granted, I've never seen him don an apron, but I bet if he did, it would look super hot. Dishes are another activity they do together. Kent will fill up the sink with warm soapy water and while he's cleaning things off, Hendrik gets to play. By the end, Hendrik is almost always soaked through, but he's enjoyed himself so much, it's a small price to pay.  

I love that Kent is the manly-man he is, even with some of the not-so-pleasant side effects of that (Kent, you know what I'm talking about). I'm grateful that my son has an excellent example of how to help out, how to love your wife, and how to love your children. I'm grateful that even though he works hard all day, he comes home and wants to do more than just loaf on the couch and yell out demands.

14 Days of Kent: Day 10

I thought that Sunday was an appropriate day to talk about how faithful Kent is; to me and to God.

I know the media probably introduces infidelity into plot lines more often than it usually happens because it creates drama, but it is truly disturbing to me how commonplace it seems. I get frustrated that in so many books, movies, and TV shows it’s glossed over and not portrayed as horribly as I believe it really is. I’m really grateful to have a husband who is faithful to me and our marriage. I’m glad that I don’t have to worry about what he’s “really” doing when he has to work late or go out of town. I’m really glad that he’s so excited to be at home with me and our children and he makes me feel so loved.

I do think there is a problem with marriage not being valued or taken seriously enough anymore, and I really appreciate that Kent does. He made a commitment to me and a promise to God, and he is keeping both of those, most importantly because he wants to. I’ve heard it said that a volunteer is often the most productive worker because they are choosing to do whatever it is. I think this applies to a happy marriage as well. I’m grateful that Kent and I made good decisions so that neither one of us felt “forced” into our relationship. He married me because he loved me and he wanted to. And he stays married to me because he loves me and he wants to be. I feel that when you know the other person is in the relationship because it’s what they wanted, it makes it easier to work through issues and have difficult conversations. You aren’t afraid of confronting things because you know he wants to find a solution just as much as you do. So thank you Kent for choosing to be with me and choosing to be happy with me. It is a choice, you know.

I’m also really grateful of Kent’s faith in God. You could say his faith in God is what brought us together considering we met each other at church. It is certainly a huge part of what keeps us together. Kent and I were having a conversation a little while ago and he told me, “No one seems to believe it, but God’s way is really the easy way.” It’s really true. If you’re focused on following what God teaches, what he wants us to be doing, your life is so much easier and happier – even through the tough times. Maybe especially through the tough times.

Kent impresses me with his ability to remember God at all times – to reach out to Him when we need to. Last May we received devastating news that Kent’s sister-in-law had been admitted to the hospital, and things did not look good. Kent immediately prayed, and we did that a number of times over the next few days as Alice continued to decline. This was an incredibly hard time, but Kent’s faith that God knew what He was doing and He was looking over Alice is what helped us deal with it. It has been a huge factor in coping with her passing as well. I’m grateful that I have Kent to lead our family and keep us in the right direction. Our marriage, family, and life are certainly better for it.

One of my favorite things is listening to Kent help Hendrik pray. There have been times that Hendrik would wake up crying because his knee/ear/arm/toes/head hurt. We have come to believe that these are phantom injuries since they don't seem to plague him during the day. But on one occasion, Kent got up to check on Hendrik and I overheard his typical complaint. And then I heard Kent say, "Well, why don't we pray and ask Heavenly Father to help you feel better?" Then he walked Hendrik through a very simple prayer. Honestly, I don't think I would have done the same thing. I would have relied on my own ability to comfort my son and missed out on an opportunity to teach him that God loves him. 

I think Kent is really humble about his faith and often points out others that he thinks are so strong. But I see on a daily basis the power of Kent’s faith and I’m grateful that I have his example to follow.

14 Days of Kent: Day 9

One of the things that really makes Kent who he is, is his solid self-confidence. This is really one of those driving factors behind so many of his other character traits and all the things I love about him. It’s the reason he is not easily embarrassed and can laugh at himself. It builds on his natural intelligence and allows him to take on and learn much more than he normally would.

I remember in the early days of our marriage he sent out a family email entitled “Kent Awesomeness Update.” At first I was a bit appalled, but upon reading it you realize that while he is touting his awesomeness, he is also just filling his family in on the goings-on of his life. It also lends to his sense of humor, more tongue-in-cheek than actual bragging. There are so many people in this world that struggle with self-esteem and believing in themselves and in a lot of ways it’s refreshing that Kent doesn’t have this issue. He very rarely second guesses himself and accomplishes much more than I am usually able to because of this. I find myself spending so much time thinking I’m not the best person for the job, someone else must be better suited, while Kent just jumps in to help wherever needed.

I love how unafraid he is of new situations and new people and is able to see things as a challenge rather than an impossible task. It makes me so grateful that he is the father of our children and if they don’t inherently have this gift, perhaps they can learn it from his example. Kent served his mission for the church in Poland and was able to learn a language that to me, seems almost impossible to learn and understand. Anytime we are out and he even thinks someone might possibly be Polish, he always greets them in Polish and carries on a quick conversation. Even though his Polish is getting a bit rusty, he never turns away an opportunity to do it. And the Poles love it!

His confidence also allows him to be a more interesting conversationalist. He’s not worried about making sure everyone knows everything about him, how much he knows, or how important he is. When he’s talking to someone he asks a lot of questions about them and he’s a great listener. He’s willing to learn something about the other person, rather than push his own agenda the whole time.

He’s found reasonable success in his career because he is confident in his skills and what he can offer the process. In his current position he provides a service to other groups that can truly improve their process and he has become a “go to” resource for a lot of people. That’s right folks, he’s awesome. I’m glad he knows his strengths so I don’t have to constantly reassure him. And it’s comforting to know I can turn to him for an honest assessment of what he can and can’t do.  

14 Days of Kent: Day 8

A long time ago Kent told me that he really doesn’t like it when asked, “What kind of music do you like?” and someone replies with, “I like everything.” He felt like that just meant they didn’t really know what they liked. Honestly, I was one of those people. But I really believed that I liked a little bit of everything, as long as it was good music. For the record, I don’t consider heavy metal music, so no, I don’t like that.

Really Kent isn’t as much of a snob as that makes him sound. He just thinks if that is your response, you should still be able to pull out a few artists, songs, or genres that you actually like. This is because Kent himself likes a wide variety of music. I know he has even listened to a country song or two and “liked” it! At least enough to keep it in his iTunes library. I make a specific note of that because I happen to like quite a bit of country and Kent loves to tease me about it.

It often amazes me how he is able to remember the names of so many bands and songs. I’m horrible at recalling those things, even if it’s a song I’ve heard a million times and know all the words to. He listens to rock, alternative, pop (some), classical, and yes, even a teeny-tiny bit of country. Kent likes to find good quality artists, no matter what genre they happen to fall under. In fact a co-worker of his gave him a bunch of music a while ago and he has been systematically listening through it to figure out what he does and doesn’t like. He’s found a number of new artists/songs that way, which allows us to broaden our musical library even more. I say “us” because we share the same music library and playlists, all cultivated by Kent. Since my life with Kent began, he has helped me broaden my musical horizons, and I’m grateful for it.

Kent’s interest in music has also helped him learn to play the piano and guitar. He was even in a band in college with some of his friends. Awesome, right? Doesn’t everybody want to marry a rock star? They recorded some of their songs, which are included in our music library. One of my favorite things about his guitar-playing skills is that he plays for Hendrik almost every night as part of his bedtime routine. In fact, if Kent has to travel for work, it is very disappointing for Hendrik that I can’t do the same. I think it has already helped Hendrik develop a strong appreciation for music, as he loves to dance and sing songs. Kent is pretty proud of the fact that Hendrik can recognize and sing along to “our music” and not just the kiddie songs. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with that music, Hendrik certainly enjoys it. And it’s pretty adorable to watch him sing the theme song to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Kent’s love of music, like his laugh, is infectious and I’m grateful that he is building up the music appreciation in our family. He hopes to one day teach Hendrik how to play guitar and they can jam together. He was even able to convince me to do something I never thought I would: sing in front of an audience. The first Hansen Family Reunion I attended, we sang a song for the family talent show. I was scared out of my mind, but I’m pretty proud of myself for actually doing it. Kent has the ability to get me to try things I normally wouldn’t and support me throughout the effort.