14 Days of Kent: Day 14

When I was younger, somehow I found out that my parents had written letters to each other during a period of time that they had to be apart. Some of those letters were original poems my dad had written for my mom. My Dad will probably hate that I'm sharing this, but seriously, how romantic is that? 

So Kent, all the posts from the last 13 days have been my love letters to you. I wanted to attempt to show you just how much you mean to me and how grateful I am that you chose me. Hopefully you've gotten a little bit of that. It's kind of hard to accurately express a love that fills you up so completely, but I’ve tried and I’ll keep trying. I couldn’t be happier to be married to you!

I’m so blessed to have a husband that genuinely wants to make me happy and give me all the things I want. I’m glad that we have so much in common and can relate to each other in an infinite number of ways. I’m grateful that we can have fun doing anything together, even if it’s doing nothing.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the things I’ve written about you, but it has really been good for me. It’s helped me take some time to focus and define some of the things that I really love about you. It’s helped me remember why I’m so happy and how grateful I am to have you as my husband. You have given me so much in this life: love, home, children, just to name a few, and so many of those we’ll be able to keep for eternity.

Thank you for sharing your life with me. You make me laugh, even if it’s at myself.

Thank you for helping me relax and enjoy life, including taking time to appreciate sunsets.

Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful on the days that I look my worst.

Thank you for giving me my two beautiful children and for being an active participant in their lives.

Thank you for wanting to surprise me, even when it doesn’t work out the way you planned.

Thank you for not giving up on me and helping me to be a better person.

Thank you for learning to be a better “girlfriend” and just listening to me rant instead of offering up a solution.

Thank you for being my best friend, lover, and role model. I LOVE YOU KENT!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It’s exciting to think I’ll get to spend the next 33 birthdays with you.   

This is how I knew I could have babies with you - ADORABLE!

Your first birthday as a husband

Your first birthday as a father

14 Days of Kent: Day 13

I do think being born on Valentine’s Day has made a mark on Kent. This may surprise a few people, but Kent is really romantic. And thoughtful. And creative in his thoughtfulness.

If you know me, you know I love chick flicks. I love romantic, true love stories, and happy endings. Everyone deserves a happy ending, don’t you think? There is so much sadness in the world I don’t need to watch a show/movie or read a book about that! I can watch the news. For my entertainment I like a good, happy, perhaps a bit cheesy love story. I just never thought in a million years I would get that in my marriage. I kind of feel like I don’t deserve it, but Kent gives it to me anyway.

Case 1: In 2007, we planned to celebrate Kent’s birthday on 2/14, like the previous year, and I did not want nor expect anything for me. I was surprised in mid-January when I received flowers at work from Kent with a note that we were celebrating Mellintine’s Day! He took me to a show and made me feel very loved and special. I mean, does anyone else get a special holiday just for them? That tradition has continued each year, although we usually celebrate it in March instead.

Case 2: THE Proposal. (You can find more detail in this blog post.) Kent decided he really wanted to surprise me, so he purposely avoided discussing marriage with me, and I wasn’t going to bring it up since things were finally going smoothly in our relationship. The week of he told me he had to work late most nights, which was believable since it was his busy season. So I really didn’t see him much that week, but that Friday I received two dozen red roses at work with a note that said we were going to do a scavenger hunt after work. I really wasn’t sure if he was serious or not, especially considering they were forecasting a pretty heavy snowstorm that night. Turns out he really had planned a scavenger hunt for me, taking me through our dating history and landmarks throughout Boston that meant something to us. I trudged through inches of snow all over Boston and had a blast. At one point I did think maybe this was a bit much for just a date night, but convinced myself it wasn’t a proposal because, hello, we hadn’t discussed it! This is why you shouldn’t second guess yourself…It all ended outside of the courthouse, next to the water, which normally would have been a beautiful view if not for the white-out conditions. When he got down on one knee I honestly couldn’t believe it! Literally, my brain stopped functioning, so unfortunately Kent didn’t get the reaction he was hoping for. I mean, I said “Yes” of course, but he was expecting some tears, maybe more visible excitement, but well, you can’t truly surprise me if you want a real reaction. I do feel horrible considering it was one of the most romantic gestures I’ve ever experienced. I honestly never thought I would get a proposal like that. I had decided that I would probably get proposed to while we were sitting on the couch watching TV. Fortunately I was very, very wrong.

Can you even stand all the cuteness in this picture?

Case 3: Christmas 2010. I think Kent tries to out-do his presents each year from the previous year. We’re getting into dangerous territory folks, mostly because it makes me feel like I have to top him. I’m pretty sure at this point Kent is getting a new car next year. Just kidding, that’s crazy! But everything else about the gift giving is true.  So, Christmas 2010, I’m opening my gifts from Kent, and there is definitely a pattern: one “normal” gift item, like a sweater, and a more random item, like dried pineapple. At first I just thought it was Kent being Kent (he does random things sometimes), but then he asked, “Are you noticing a pattern?” So I took stock of the random items: tropical flavored gum, dried pineapple, coconut. “Uh, are you making a pina colada?” Then he handed me an envelope and inside I found a brochure about a Hawaiian resort. A week in Hawaii! Awesome all on its own, but he knew that I had yet to go on a real tropical vacation (my cruise to the Bahamas is its own post). By the way, sans Hendrik. This was also another instance where he surprised me and I did not show the expected amount of excitement. It’s kind of cute that he keeps trying to surprise me anyway, right?

Kent takes some really beautiful photos too...

All of those are BIG romantic moments, but he romances me in little ways every day. For instance, he manages our Netflix queue (and I do mean manages) and he adds chick flicks on there for me just because he knows I love them. AND he watches them with me once they arrive. Okay, sort of watches while he plays Civ. He finds songs that make him think of me or us and tells me about it. He holds my hand when we’re in the car or walking around somewhere. He opens doors for me, when I give him the chance. 

On Mother’s Day and my birthday he makes me breakfast, often in bed, a special dinner, and actually bakes a birthday cake for me. He even drew me a card the Mother’s Day I was pregnant with Hendrik. He makes note of things I like, but don’t buy, and gets them for me for birthdays and Christmas. HE PAYS ATTENTION. He also started the tradition that we spend our Anniversary night away from home. This is an important tradition I think everyone should do. Don’t shrug off your anniversary because you’re too busy. This is the day your family began! Honor it and each other!

I have always loved romantic stories and gestures but never expected to have them myself. I am so grateful to be spoiled by a husband who loves me so much. I’m seriously trying to play catch up with this “14 Days of Kent” and I will still fall drastically short.

14 Days of Kent: Day 12

As I have gotten older I have really started to perfect being lazy. You would think that would be impossible now that I have two kids, but somehow I manage it. Basically any second that I’m not doing something for the kids, I try to loaf about. Kent, on the other hand, is not very good at being lazy. He may have some lazy Saturday mornings where he gets in some good Civ time, but it doesn’t last too long. Some days it makes me a little crazy, but most days I really appreciate that he works so hard.

I think this is a trait he gets from his mother. Kent has often commented how hard his mother works and how amazed he is by how much she does. I find it interesting that he doesn’t notice the same characteristic in himself. Perhaps because he may throw out a complaint here or there he discounts just how hard he really does work.

It often amazes me how much energy Kent seems to have while working. When we first moved into our house four years ago, the back yard needed some serious work. We decided to rototill it ourselves, piece of cake, right? Yeah…not so much. We forgot that this is New England and we grow rocks here not to mention our contractor had decided to bury a pile of trash and the remnants of an old horse barn back there. It took FOREVER to till through the ground and get it ready for grass seed. Honestly, my arms still ache from dragging and pushing that rototiller through the yard. 

Kent tries to find new projects for himself all the time. He chooses not to have a riding mower because he “needs the exercise.” He hauls mulch and compost, plants a wide variety of plants, laid a brick path, built garden boxes, and much more. And that’s only in the yard! The crazy thing is he’s always happiest when he has a project. I’m a little worried that he’s going to run out of improvement projects and I’m going to come home one day and he’ll have gutted our master bath. Actually, I take that back, I’m fine if he does that. Are you reading this Kent?

Inside the house he does laundry, dishes, mops the kitchen floor, and cleans up the basement. On top of that he works about 50-60 hours per week for his job. I’m really grateful that Kent works so hard outside of the home because it has now allowed me to stay at home with our kids. What a gift that is! It might not be his “dream job,” whatever that is, but he knows it is something he does well at and can succeed in. And he doesn’t stop there. Somewhere he finds just enough energy to come home and rough house with Hendrik, which is something only the two of them do. Mommy is not a rough houser, mommy is a snuggler and a story reader.

I really appreciate Kent’s hard working example because it encourages me to be better. I think he even knows that if he gets up and starts cleaning or doing the dishes it prompts me to do the same. Maybe a bit of a guilty conscience, but whatever works, right? I’m grateful that he works so hard and so tirelessly for our family and I really love him for it.

Teaching Hendrik the importance of watering

The boulder we encountered while digging a hole for the apple tree

14 Days of Kent: Day 11

This may surprise a few people, but Kent is a man. That's right, a man, and I love that about him. Sure, that may mean that I have to deal with a few more unsavory noises and smells, but in the end it's all worth it. As the man of the house, Kent gets assigned some pretty dirty jobs, but he takes it all in stride. 

For instance, Kent is the resident bug-crusher/remover. I like to think I'm fairly brave, but there is something about the unblinking stare of a spider or other gross insect that really creeps me out. So if I walk into the bathroom or down in the basement and am greeted by something nasty, I just yell for Kent and he comes to take care of it for me. He may laugh a little at me while he does it, but if I don't have to get close to touching it, he can laugh all he wants. That is one of the setbacks of staying at home now, if I encounter something creepy-crawly during the day, Kent isn't here to save me...And don't get me started on snakes in the garden...{shiver}

Kent also comes to my rescue for other "yucky" incidents, like floaters in the bathtub. It's unfortunate, but it happens. It hasn't happened recently, but in the past I would be letting Hendrik play in the tub when all of a sudden he would get much too quiet. You know that quiet where every parent hears clanging alarm bells in their head? When I looked over to check on him, there it was...seriously gross. So I would snatch Hendrik out of the tub and call for Kent: "Kent, I need help!" And within a minute he would be upstairs taking care of the problem for me. I'm serious, the man deserves a reward.

He is also the one that is brave enough to check out strange noises in the middle of the night. Or if I wake up from a bad dream, I just inch closer to his side of the bed and I immediately feel safer. He fixes things. He builds things. He takes out the trash. He shovels the snow (a lot of it recently). He does the majority of heavy lifting. We have this pretty awesome arrangement where he carries all the laundry down to the basement, washes it, and brings it back up for me to fold. Once folded, I shove the basket to the bottom of the stairs and he carries it back up. I think this originally started when I was pregnant with Hendrik, but I'm really grateful he still does it on a regular basis.

And Kent is not "too manly" to do more of the domestic chores around the house. He cooks a number of meals and is really great at making waffles, which I love. He certainly makes work in the kitchen more fun and is SO much better at getting Hendrik involved than I am. He's not worried about making a mess, or a measurement not being quite right, and Hendrik has a blast. Granted, I've never seen him don an apron, but I bet if he did, it would look super hot. Dishes are another activity they do together. Kent will fill up the sink with warm soapy water and while he's cleaning things off, Hendrik gets to play. By the end, Hendrik is almost always soaked through, but he's enjoyed himself so much, it's a small price to pay.  

I love that Kent is the manly-man he is, even with some of the not-so-pleasant side effects of that (Kent, you know what I'm talking about). I'm grateful that my son has an excellent example of how to help out, how to love your wife, and how to love your children. I'm grateful that even though he works hard all day, he comes home and wants to do more than just loaf on the couch and yell out demands.

14 Days of Kent: Day 10

I thought that Sunday was an appropriate day to talk about how faithful Kent is; to me and to God.

I know the media probably introduces infidelity into plot lines more often than it usually happens because it creates drama, but it is truly disturbing to me how commonplace it seems. I get frustrated that in so many books, movies, and TV shows it’s glossed over and not portrayed as horribly as I believe it really is. I’m really grateful to have a husband who is faithful to me and our marriage. I’m glad that I don’t have to worry about what he’s “really” doing when he has to work late or go out of town. I’m really glad that he’s so excited to be at home with me and our children and he makes me feel so loved.

I do think there is a problem with marriage not being valued or taken seriously enough anymore, and I really appreciate that Kent does. He made a commitment to me and a promise to God, and he is keeping both of those, most importantly because he wants to. I’ve heard it said that a volunteer is often the most productive worker because they are choosing to do whatever it is. I think this applies to a happy marriage as well. I’m grateful that Kent and I made good decisions so that neither one of us felt “forced” into our relationship. He married me because he loved me and he wanted to. And he stays married to me because he loves me and he wants to be. I feel that when you know the other person is in the relationship because it’s what they wanted, it makes it easier to work through issues and have difficult conversations. You aren’t afraid of confronting things because you know he wants to find a solution just as much as you do. So thank you Kent for choosing to be with me and choosing to be happy with me. It is a choice, you know.

I’m also really grateful of Kent’s faith in God. You could say his faith in God is what brought us together considering we met each other at church. It is certainly a huge part of what keeps us together. Kent and I were having a conversation a little while ago and he told me, “No one seems to believe it, but God’s way is really the easy way.” It’s really true. If you’re focused on following what God teaches, what he wants us to be doing, your life is so much easier and happier – even through the tough times. Maybe especially through the tough times.

Kent impresses me with his ability to remember God at all times – to reach out to Him when we need to. Last May we received devastating news that Kent’s sister-in-law had been admitted to the hospital, and things did not look good. Kent immediately prayed, and we did that a number of times over the next few days as Alice continued to decline. This was an incredibly hard time, but Kent’s faith that God knew what He was doing and He was looking over Alice is what helped us deal with it. It has been a huge factor in coping with her passing as well. I’m grateful that I have Kent to lead our family and keep us in the right direction. Our marriage, family, and life are certainly better for it.

One of my favorite things is listening to Kent help Hendrik pray. There have been times that Hendrik would wake up crying because his knee/ear/arm/toes/head hurt. We have come to believe that these are phantom injuries since they don't seem to plague him during the day. But on one occasion, Kent got up to check on Hendrik and I overheard his typical complaint. And then I heard Kent say, "Well, why don't we pray and ask Heavenly Father to help you feel better?" Then he walked Hendrik through a very simple prayer. Honestly, I don't think I would have done the same thing. I would have relied on my own ability to comfort my son and missed out on an opportunity to teach him that God loves him. 

I think Kent is really humble about his faith and often points out others that he thinks are so strong. But I see on a daily basis the power of Kent’s faith and I’m grateful that I have his example to follow.

14 Days of Kent: Day 9

One of the things that really makes Kent who he is, is his solid self-confidence. This is really one of those driving factors behind so many of his other character traits and all the things I love about him. It’s the reason he is not easily embarrassed and can laugh at himself. It builds on his natural intelligence and allows him to take on and learn much more than he normally would.

I remember in the early days of our marriage he sent out a family email entitled “Kent Awesomeness Update.” At first I was a bit appalled, but upon reading it you realize that while he is touting his awesomeness, he is also just filling his family in on the goings-on of his life. It also lends to his sense of humor, more tongue-in-cheek than actual bragging. There are so many people in this world that struggle with self-esteem and believing in themselves and in a lot of ways it’s refreshing that Kent doesn’t have this issue. He very rarely second guesses himself and accomplishes much more than I am usually able to because of this. I find myself spending so much time thinking I’m not the best person for the job, someone else must be better suited, while Kent just jumps in to help wherever needed.

I love how unafraid he is of new situations and new people and is able to see things as a challenge rather than an impossible task. It makes me so grateful that he is the father of our children and if they don’t inherently have this gift, perhaps they can learn it from his example. Kent served his mission for the church in Poland and was able to learn a language that to me, seems almost impossible to learn and understand. Anytime we are out and he even thinks someone might possibly be Polish, he always greets them in Polish and carries on a quick conversation. Even though his Polish is getting a bit rusty, he never turns away an opportunity to do it. And the Poles love it!

His confidence also allows him to be a more interesting conversationalist. He’s not worried about making sure everyone knows everything about him, how much he knows, or how important he is. When he’s talking to someone he asks a lot of questions about them and he’s a great listener. He’s willing to learn something about the other person, rather than push his own agenda the whole time.

He’s found reasonable success in his career because he is confident in his skills and what he can offer the process. In his current position he provides a service to other groups that can truly improve their process and he has become a “go to” resource for a lot of people. That’s right folks, he’s awesome. I’m glad he knows his strengths so I don’t have to constantly reassure him. And it’s comforting to know I can turn to him for an honest assessment of what he can and can’t do.  

14 Days of Kent: Day 8

A long time ago Kent told me that he really doesn’t like it when asked, “What kind of music do you like?” and someone replies with, “I like everything.” He felt like that just meant they didn’t really know what they liked. Honestly, I was one of those people. But I really believed that I liked a little bit of everything, as long as it was good music. For the record, I don’t consider heavy metal music, so no, I don’t like that.

Really Kent isn’t as much of a snob as that makes him sound. He just thinks if that is your response, you should still be able to pull out a few artists, songs, or genres that you actually like. This is because Kent himself likes a wide variety of music. I know he has even listened to a country song or two and “liked” it! At least enough to keep it in his iTunes library. I make a specific note of that because I happen to like quite a bit of country and Kent loves to tease me about it.

It often amazes me how he is able to remember the names of so many bands and songs. I’m horrible at recalling those things, even if it’s a song I’ve heard a million times and know all the words to. He listens to rock, alternative, pop (some), classical, and yes, even a teeny-tiny bit of country. Kent likes to find good quality artists, no matter what genre they happen to fall under. In fact a co-worker of his gave him a bunch of music a while ago and he has been systematically listening through it to figure out what he does and doesn’t like. He’s found a number of new artists/songs that way, which allows us to broaden our musical library even more. I say “us” because we share the same music library and playlists, all cultivated by Kent. Since my life with Kent began, he has helped me broaden my musical horizons, and I’m grateful for it.

Kent’s interest in music has also helped him learn to play the piano and guitar. He was even in a band in college with some of his friends. Awesome, right? Doesn’t everybody want to marry a rock star? They recorded some of their songs, which are included in our music library. One of my favorite things about his guitar-playing skills is that he plays for Hendrik almost every night as part of his bedtime routine. In fact, if Kent has to travel for work, it is very disappointing for Hendrik that I can’t do the same. I think it has already helped Hendrik develop a strong appreciation for music, as he loves to dance and sing songs. Kent is pretty proud of the fact that Hendrik can recognize and sing along to “our music” and not just the kiddie songs. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with that music, Hendrik certainly enjoys it. And it’s pretty adorable to watch him sing the theme song to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Kent’s love of music, like his laugh, is infectious and I’m grateful that he is building up the music appreciation in our family. He hopes to one day teach Hendrik how to play guitar and they can jam together. He was even able to convince me to do something I never thought I would: sing in front of an audience. The first Hansen Family Reunion I attended, we sang a song for the family talent show. I was scared out of my mind, but I’m pretty proud of myself for actually doing it. Kent has the ability to get me to try things I normally wouldn’t and support me throughout the effort. 

14 Days of Kent: Day 7

I had actually planned this post for the 14^th as a nice sum-up, but I think it’s good to do it today, halfway through the fourteen days. I’m a little afraid that my most recent posts have been a bit unimpressive and I don’t want it to be attributed to running out of things to say. Not the case, at all. I think I could probably talk about how wonderful Kent is, well, forever.

The challenge I am finding is actually separating the various qualities/traits from each other. I’ve realized that all of the things that I love about Kent are all the things that make him “Kent” (they are his Kent-ness) and they are all closely connected to each other. I don’t want to be repetitive in my posts, but it’s very difficult to explain one particular thing I love about Kent without discussing the others. I don’t love Kent because he is smart, funny, my best friend, romantic, confident, OR sexy. I love him because he is all of those things (and more!) wrapped into one gorgeous package.

I think that is where so many singles (myself included) fall or have fallen into a trap. We’re taught at a young age to create a list of qualities we want our future spouse to have, maybe even prioritize them, but oftentimes the list becomes more like a shopping list instead of just a vague reminder of what we find important, what we’re compatible with. The point is that you can’t be looking for a person that fits A, B, or C perfectly, you have to find the person that fits YOU perfectly, and vice versa. I think that’s why as time goes on I appreciate my dad’s advice about marrying your best friend that much more. Besides, if you find someone you can be best friends with, more than likely they are going to meet the majority of your most important criteria. And to be honest, the things they don’t meet don’t matter.

It’s really hard to pinpoint specifically what I love most about Kent. I’m realizing that because I love HIM, even the things I might list as annoyances, I love. Because they are part of Kent, and I love Kent. It’s really that simple. For instance, he finds it endlessly hilarious to push my buttons and get me going, I do not find this quite as funny. However, this is part of his sense of humor and when he does it, it’s more about getting a rise out of me than making me upset, so I can appreciate it, usually in hindsight of course. Sometimes you just need someone to make fun of you so you can break out of some thought-cycle you may be stuck in. Including being angry/upset at yourself or someone else.

So while I’m not outlining one specific thing today – thank you Kent, for being Y-O-U. I love Kent Hendrik Hansen, the real deal. I feel like I need to go carve it in a tree trunk or some wet cement or something...

14 Days of Kent: Day 6

As they say here in Massachusetts, Kent is a real “Smahtie.” I have no idea what his IQ is, but I know he’s really intelligent. He’s not only book-smart (thank goodness!), he’s life smart and street-wise too. I love to tease Kent about his nerdiness, but he’s really proud of his Mathlete days. He did pretty well, so I’m told, and even got to travel to Washington, DC to compete in the national competition. Although I joke about it, I am grateful for his serious math skills. They come in really handy when shopping sales, splitting bills, or adjusting recipes. He’s my human calculator, and it’s awesome.

His math skills induce a heavy interest in statistics. This is a trait that seems to run in his family and many conversations he has with his brothers center around success rates of this or that, performance of this team or that, etc. The combination of his love for stats and his intelligence helps to drive his competitive nature, even if he’s only challenging himself. I can’t tell you the number of times we take different routes home, just to see if he can get there faster (without speeding) or various other challenges he comes up with. We have some friends that we play games with fairly regularly, and I can almost guarantee that Kent is keeping record in his head how many times he comes in first, second, third, and last. I would say most often Kent is competing with himself, rather than, say, me. I don’t know if it’s because he usually doesn’t consider me real competition or just because he likes to beat his own personal records, but I’ll go with the latter.

I really appreciate how his intelligence causes him to be interested in many different things, looking for new things to learn or know about, and blesses him with the capacity to actually be successful at these new endeavors. In almost all cases this makes my life in some way better. For instance, he wanted to know more about gardening: we now have a pretty awesome garden/yard with a variety of plants and I never have to mow the lawn. He was curious about home repairs/construction: we have a finished basement where we can send Hendrik and his toys, at a much lower cost.

Perhaps one of my favorite benefits of his smarts is his ability to carry on a conversation about almost anything. It doesn’t have to be intellectual or relevant, it can be goofy or ridiculous, but Kent will participate in the conversation. He also brings up a lot of topics that are interesting and make me think. This is really helpful with that whole not-getting-tired-of-each-other thing. I’m often impressed with his ability to know a little something about some random topic and be able to share an opinion on it. I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty attractive.

I just need to keep up a steady regimen of crosswords, sudokus, and brain puzzles to keep up with him. Who wants to be the “dumb wife?” Not I!

HS Graduation - Gotta love that hair...

14 Days of Kent: Day 5

The next thing I love about Kent is that he decided to marry me. Does that seem too obvious? Let me elaborate. Our dating relationship was not the smoothest ride. Now that I think about it, it followed the path of a good romantic comedy: Hero and heroine find each other, decide to date, heroine is too weird in the relationship, hero decides to bail, they mutually decide they enjoy being friends, continue to spend time together and become better friends, after months of dating again, friendship is what eventually helps the hero realize he is in love with the heroine, hero pops the question with a grand romantic gesture.

Despite it being a bumpier ride than most would hope for, I’m grateful for the way our relationship developed. It gave us time to really get to know each other, see each other in all different kinds of situations. Over the two years we knew each other and dated, we really became best friends.

A long time ago I was talking to my dad and asked him how you knew when you were in love with someone or when you’ve found “the one.” He told me honestly that he had no idea how to answer that question, but for him it was easy because he married his best friend. From then on I knew I wanted something similar. I knew I wanted to marry someone I had fun with, who knew me and all my faults and still loved me. Someone who could support me through the not-so-great moments, who would make me laugh and help me be a better person. Someone I could spend every day with and still never get tired of them or run out of things to say. Kent is truly that person for me.

After our ups and downs, I was surprised when he invited me to go home with him for Christmas in 2006. His sister had lived in Boston with her family while her husband earned his MBA and Kent never once invited me to meet them. I only accidentally met his brother-in-law because we picked him up from the airport on our first date…But I agreed to go and it was a great trip. Kent wanted to surprise his mom, but I vehemently opposed. Not the way to make a good impression: SURPRISE! You have one more person to find a bed for, feed, and entertain! Yeah, I don’t think so. I stayed with his family until Christmas Eve and then flew back to Boston so I could spend Christmas Day with my sister. Kent says that it was during those few days apart that he decided he wanted to marry me. And I am forever grateful that he came to that realization.

I feel so lucky that I have married someone I am genuinely excited to see every day. All day long I think of things I want to tell him, share with him, and I can’t wait for him to get home. Oftentimes I don’t and just text, IM, or email. In true BFF fashion, some nights we stay up late talking and laughing when we should be sleeping. We’ll be watching TV and pause the show to discuss something or share a joke and sometimes not even finish the show because we get to talking.

I am so glad my dad gave me that advice so many years ago and that I had the example of his relationship with my mom to follow. And I am even more grateful that I was able to find that with Kent. 

14 Days of Kent: Day 4

Kent has told me numerous times that he doesn’t like his eyebrows because he thinks they make his face look mean, leading people to believe he is mean. I have to admit, I see his point, although I don’t know if his eyebrows are entirely to blame. But he often has trouble with people misunderstanding him or thinking he is angry, when he’s really not.

I’m here to set the record straight: Kent has a hilarious and open sense of humor. He will tell anyone willing to listen just how funny he is. Lately he’s been working on his “dad jokes” and unfortunately he’s getting better at them. If he tells a joke and I don’t laugh, he looks at me and says, “Isn’t that hilarious? Don’t you think that’s funny? Do you get it?” As if it’s impossible that it not be hysterical to everyone else. Although I will confess that Kent makes me laugh, a lot. His laugh is infectious and he can even get Hendrik and Adelaide going pretty well.

Kent likes to laugh and have fun, no matter if it’s with someone else or all on his own. I’m the type of person where if I’m watching TV alone, I won’t necessarily laugh out loud at something I think is funny. Kent is not that kind of person. Oftentimes I will be in another part of the house and hear his roar of laughter at something he found hilarious.

Kent is also able to laugh at himself. I alluded in a previous post that it is nearly impossible to embarrass Kent, and it’s true. I’m a fairly private person and carefully select the information I share with others, usually making sure it coincides with the image I want to project. I don’t think Kent has this internal struggle. When we first met he volunteered a number of stories that I would never have shared with another living being, let alone someone I was trying to date. Most notably, he confesses that he wet the bed until he was 12. Are you shaking your head right now, thinking, “Melanie! How could you do that to your husband?! Posting that statement on the world wide web for the universe to read!” Trust me, it is almost always one of the first stories Kent shares with new friends. Perhaps the funniest (?) part of this particular story is that at one point because he was still struggling with waking up to go, he had to wear a “bed wetting alarm” at night. A wire connected to his underpants would register any wetness and set off an alarm that he wore on his wrist like a watch. The best part is that it still wouldn’t wake Kent up and his parents would come stumbling into his room in the middle of the night to wake him up. I didn’t know machines like that existed, or were necessary.

We spent the weekend up in New Hampshire once with two couples and we played this game where you were supposed to think of a sentence or phrase. Then you pass the paper to the person next to you and they have to draw a depiction of the sentence. Then they cover the original sentence and pass the paper to the next person, who has to try and write the sentence based on the picture. Kent’s sentence was, “I wore a bed wetting alarm at night.” Can you imagine the pictures and sentences that followed? It was hilarious! Wet-your-pants funny, to be exact.

Kent LOVES to laugh, even if he is the butt of the joke. Maybe especially if he is the butt of the joke. But it makes him so much fun to be around. I could be around Kent all day every day because he makes it so entertaining. I love spending time with him, which is convenient considering our eternal marriage and all. His perspective of himself also helps me to relax and not take myself so seriously. It’s always better to laugh with everyone than to think they are laughing at you. I really hope that this is a trait all of our children get from Kent.

Sporting my hat and scarf

Gearing up with Hendrik

14 Days of Kent: Day 3

Today’s post got significantly delayed, but I wanted to make sure it was still done. Luckily talking about how awesome Kent is comes easily.

The next thing I love about Kent is how great he is at being a dad. It isn’t often that I see Kent unsure of himself, but before we had Hendrik he had a few moments of uncertainty. Despite having about a billion nieces and nephews he told me he hadn’t really spent a ton of time around tiny newborns and wasn’t too sure how to take care of one. Even once Hendrik was born he liked to follow my cues on what to do for the baby, but like most new things Kent encounters, he jumped in feet first. He has never been the kind of father who tries to avoid changing diapers, giving baths (cleaning accidents out of the bath), dressing babies, or putting them to bed. While he certainly does the lion’s share of horsing around and rough-play, he doesn’t limit himself to only being the fun parent. Although, I think he would probably admit I’m more the disciplinarian than he is.

Now that he has been a father for over three years, I can definitely tell that he is more comfortable in his role. He has never acted like it was always my job to take care of the kids or as if he was doing me a favor if he “babysat” our children. In fact, up until we had Adelaide and I’ve been home, Kent was the one responsible for getting Hendrik dressed and ready in the mornings to drop him off at daycare. After playing more of an active role in Adelaide’s delivery, he even feels pretty confident that he could deliver our next baby, if necessary. I was quick to reassure him that his new skills probably wouldn’t be necessary with baby #3.

I’m really glad that he has been able to develop a strong bond with Hendrik and that they have activities that really only they do together. He always shows an incredible amount of patience with Hendrik and gets him involved in a number of different activities that he does. Whenever Kent is in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, Hendrik is usually in there with him, nearby standing on his step stool to “help.” Even at such a young age, Hendrik has assisted him with repairs and building projects around the house. Kent’s ability to just let Hendrik try and participate in whatever he is doing is an inspiration to me. Too often I find myself saying no to Hendrik’s offers of help because I feel like I don’t have enough time or he’ll make too big of a mess. Neither of those are a worry for Kent.

I’m also excited to see how being a father to a daughter makes his relationship different with Adelaide than it is with Hendrik. One thing is for certain, his children will never wonder if their father loves them. I am incredibly grateful for a husband who shows love for his children constantly and unabashedly. Two of my favorite moments of Kent’s fatherhood are when he held each of his children for the first time. The look of awe and pure love on his face I will never forget. My mom has always told me that she believes all of us bonded with our Dad first because she was so tired after the deliveries and I think that might be true with my kids. Kent held both Hendrik and Adelaide first and I’m so glad that he wanted to be there and so involved in welcoming our children into the world.

Just about every day, usually more than once, Kent will say to Hendrik, “You’re my boy.” Hendrik’s reply is always the same, “Yes, you are my boy.” Obviously he doesn’t quite understand what he is saying back, but I think the message is clear. Kent is a father who loves, even adores, his children. They are special to him and he will always make sure they know it. I could not design a better father for my kids. He does so much to take care of our family and we are forever grateful.

Baby Hendrik

Baby Adelaide

14 Days of Kent: Day 2

After reading my post from yesterday Kent looked at me and said, "Thanks Mel. That's really nice, but I think you're going to run out of material after the first few days." Oh Kent...have a little faith in me. Apparently in our 5 1/2 years of marriage I have done a horrendous job of expressing my love for you. So please pay attention over the next two weeks...

Not every reason I love Kent can be deep, so I’ll get the superficial one out of the way early on: Kent is easily the sexiest man I know. He’s always asking me if I think “so and so” celebrity is hot, and while many of them may be good-looking or attractive, I have a hard time giving anyone “hot” status. In truth, the only one I’ve ever mentioned is Mark Wahlberg, so Kent always teases me about that. But Kent is by far my favorite guy.

Before we were married, I kept waiting for the day when I would see him and not get the little flutter in my stomach, and kept being surprised when it was always there. I would go over to Kent’s apartment and he’d be wearing some ratty pajama pants and a stained BYU sweatshirt and I still thought he was the sexiest man ever. It really doesn’t matter what he’s wearing, whether he’s showered or not, long hair, short hair, clean-shaven, or yes, even with a beard (Kent will never let me forget that!), I still find him wildly attractive. Even today as we were walking around the mall, he was wearing a pair of jeans, long-sleeve t-shirt, and a baseball cap, and I just thought, “Man, I love that guy.”

I know that Kent, and perhaps a few of his brothers, think he has put on a little extra weight, but to be honest, I like Kent's size. When we were first dating I was a little worried that he might be too thin - my worst fear is being married to a man that weighs less than me. Luckily when I was pregnant with Hendrik Kent gained weight with me and I'm okay with the fact that he kept it. Are you getting the message? I LOVE the way Kent looks! LOVE it! 

I’m also aware that Kent becomes more attractive to me through the lens of our love, but seriously guys, the celebrities in People Magazine have nothing on my Kent. He is the sexiest man alive, no contest. Do you think I’ve embarrassed him enough? Well if you think “yes”, you’re wrong. It’s nearly impossible to embarrass Kent, but that’s a post for another day.

I know that physical attraction isn’t the most important element in our marriage, but I don’t think it hurts! I’m really grateful to have a husband I am so attracted to. Perhaps Kent can’t take all the credit for his good looks, so thank you Mom and Dad Hansen for making such a delicious specimen of a man!

14 Days of Kent

Do you know the real reason for celebration on February 14^th? That’s right, we all get together and show love for each other in honor of Kent Hansen’s birthday. I know, not everyone gets a national holiday to commemorate their birthday, but Kent is just that kind of guy. He really does deserve it!

A lot of people celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas, but this year I’m celebrating the 14 Days of Kent. I love my husband. That may seem like a fairly obvious statement, but I’m starting to think that in the world today, that’s becoming more of an oddity. Too many people take love and forever too lightly and I’m proud and lucky to have found someone I can love unconditionally and who loves me back. Kent does so much to make my life better that honoring him for 14 days of the year is barely enough. But I want to publicly recognize him for being as awesome as he is. So for the next 14 days I will have a new blog post that describes something about Kent that I just L-O-V-E. And come February 14^th if you dread celebrating love, valentines, chocolates, and all that junk, just join in our celebration of Kent instead!

Day 1: He's Reliable

Super Kent!

I love Kent because he is reliable. He has awesome follow-through, both on the basketball court and off. He can make some pretty consistent shots on the court, but more importantly he’s reliable in so many aspects of his life. When Kent says he is going to do something, he does it. While I might still intend to do something but have managed to get distracted or procrastinate, Kent just gets it done. It’s a little infuriating really to be married to someone who never seems to fall into those traps, but that’s just my own pride speaking. I’m grateful that we have him to lean on and make sure things happen for us.

When we were still dating, Kent taught me how to snowboard, borrowing a board and boots from a friend. Afterwards, I was pretty enthusiastic about doing it again and he mentioned that he could look into getting me my own gear, rather than having to rent in the future. The next day he IMs me at work and tells me that he found a board online for a great price. When I saw him next, either that night or the one following, he had already bought it for me. I was still “thinking” it over and he had done research and made a purchase! And that kind of reflects how our marriage works: I take a lot of time (often too much!) to make decisions, trying to make sure I've seen and understand every angle, and Kent does some research and moves forward.

I could come up with a million different examples of times he has shown up or gotten things done as promised, but that’s not really the point. When Kent makes a promise, he keeps it. When he says he’ll look into something, it gets looked into. If he says he’ll do it, it gets done. I really can’t express what a relief it is to have a partner I can trust and depend on so fully! Think of how many friends, family members, or acquaintances have flaked out in various situations, but not Kent. But best of all, his example pushes me to be better about getting things done. He certainly doesn’t nag, but his drive to make sure things happen keeps me on track most of the time. I’m so glad I have him to encourage me to be better!